


Stuck in Limbo

by NightBloomingPeony



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood, Blood Drinking, Dark Edward Cullen, EPOV, Edward's Point of View, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, Love, Monsters, Romance, Secrets, Soulmates, Trauma, Vampire Bites, Vampire Sex, Vampire Turning, Vampires, Vigilante Edward Cullen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:54:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29434905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightBloomingPeony/pseuds/NightBloomingPeony
Summary: Edward left Carlisle and Esme behind in 1927, to go hunting for criminals, and never looked back since. When his path crosses with Bella’s one fateful evening, there is no denying his desires: he wants her blood and body. Their night of passion ends with him accidentally changing her. What happens when she wakes up by his side, with no recollection of her last night of being human?
Relationships: Edward Cullen & Bella Swan, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 26
Kudos: 34





	1. The Midnight Train

**Hello, dear readers, and welcome to this new journey!** **This is going to be a dark and sexy ride, so buckle up! :)**

**The events of "Stuck in Limbo" are told from Edward's point of view, so I hope you're ready for a deep dive into his profoundly troubled mind. Apart from the fact that he never returned to Esme and Carlisle after leaving them behind in 1927, the lore and the personalities of the characters remain canon-compliant.**

**This story is going to deal with several mature themes - Edward is, after all, a vigilante vampire who gets rid of the worst predators in the world, so he has seen it all. But don't worry, if a certain chapter deals with a sensitive topic, there will be proper trigger warnings placed at the very end, for anyone who might need them.**

**Also, a fair warning: there will be lemons (unashamedly explicit lemons),** **so proceed with care, if you are not a fan of those.**

**I am forever grateful to CoppertopJ, for being the most amazing beta in the world, and to DaniDarlingxx, for being the most encouraging pre-reader on this planet!**

**As you well know, all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I am only a hopeless fan who can't get enough of playing with them.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_"In Limbo Land you don't unpack_

_You can't move on, you can't go back_

_You don't make plans, you dare not hope_

_For fear of broken dreams._

_In Limbo Land there is no peace_

_There's no escape and no release_

_Just constant staring at the sky_

_And tears in tortured streams."_

**_Dan Foster_ **

* * *

_**2005** _

It had been too long. Did they even remember me?

They did. Of course they did. This was the blessing and the curse of our species: never forget. I could not understand why the strings that tied me to them still existed, even after all these years. It wasn't like I cared anymore. For all I knew, they could be dead. Still, it would have been nice to at least _know_. At least the uncertainty wouldn't burn me anymore.

I wondered if they ever thought about me - if, just like me, they looked down upon this particular day in July and thought: 'This is the day he left us'. I admonished myself for being self-centered enough to believe that maybe they hadn't stopped caring. Forgetting, sometimes, could be a cathartic act. And while forgetting was, for all intents and purposes, impossible for our kind, coming to peace with things wasn't - if only peace liked my company.

The streets of Port Angeles were mostly empty at this late hour, the life of the city being crammed into the countless bars and restaurants near the city's old pier. Thousands of heartbeats, pulsing together, one of them unaware of the fact that this would be the last night it would beat. They all made for a delicious feast and I was craving to taste them all, but I had to be careful.

I didn't have to wear contacts tonight. My eyes were dark enough on their own, thanks to the past two weeks going by without me feeding at all. The fire in my throat was blazing as I made my way down the street, past the coffee shops that were now closed and past the nightclubs that bore the unmistakable scent of desire. It was in these nightclubs that I needed to be.

At this point, it didn't matter which one I chose. They were all nameless to me, serving one purpose only: being my own buffets. The one I had just entered had no bodyguard at the entrance - a recipe for disaster. Inside, the light was so low I was wondering if the humans could even see what was in front of them. The cigarette smoke surely did not help in that regard. It was thick and it permeated every possible surface.

Every muscle in my body began to tense up once I entered the crowd of dancing people. They were too close, too warm, too delicious, while my thirst was too strong. I could hear a Placebo song blaring from the speakers and I couldn't help but notice the lack of synchrony of the dancers, most of them too drunk to keep a steady rhythm. Their thoughts, almost as loud as the song, made their way into my head: mindless distractions and money and sex, all of them jumbled together in a tiring mess.

I made my way to the bar - my usual spot whenever I entered places like this. There, a petite brunette was having a heated conversation with the barman. She wore a dress that seemed too tight for comfort and her curly hair was all bundled up in a messy bun, revealing a neck full of pulsing blood. I had to swallow the venom in my mouth when I sat down on the tall chair next to her, ignoring the sight of her neck, trying to scan the minds of those around me.

"Dude, it's just a little vodka, not the end of the world," she uttered, accentuating every word with an accent I could not pinpoint.

" _And you've been staring at my boobs for so long it would be nice to at least pay for the free show._ "

"You're lucky you're still inside, kid," the barman said.

" _Damn, what do they put in food these days that makes them look like that?_ "

"You know this would be legal in Europe, right?" the girl persisted.

"Then move to Europe, for all I care."

The curly girl tried to say something, but the barman ignored her, turning his back on her to reach for some bottles on the top shelf. He felt good about refusing her order, but still strangely attracted to this girl who was at least half his age. However, thoughts about his wife waiting at home kept him from fantasizing further. I decided he was not a threat.

In the end, the girl caved and retreated. I could pick out from her thoughts that this was her eighteenth birthday and she was hoping she could get her friends a few sneaky drinks.

"No luck, girls," I heard her say, somewhere in the back.

"We told you you don't have to do this," another voice called.

I could see now in the mind of the curly girl the two faces of her companions: a blonde and another brunette. The blonde was wearing a top full of sequins, while the chestnut-haired girl wore something more subdued: just a thin blue blouse, made of delicate silk, that made for an odd contrast with her pale skin. Somehow, they both looked out of place, given their ages - the brunette even more so, as she looked around with a deep frown between her eyebrows.

"Live a little, Angela! When was the last time your folks let you out of town for a whole night?"

"Ummm, never until now?"

"That's _exactly_ my point."

I lost track of their conversation when the barman asked me what I wanted. I told him to surprise me - I always told them that, since I couldn't care less what they put in my glass. I never drank it anyway, it was merely an excuse to not be bothered while I hunted.

Things seemed all right for the moment. Usually, I had to wait a little before finding my prey. But they never failed to come, sooner or later. Most of the time, they were men. A few times women. I never made a distinction between the two anyway - if their intentions involved taking advantage of and harming a person, they were as good as dead to me.

That first hour in the club went by slowly. The passing of time got even slower when a woman came to sit next to me - a bold gesture, considering the way most humans had an instinctive impulse to avoid my kind, but not as bold as the first words she uttered to me:

"What would you say if I told you we should get out of here right now?"

I didn't look at her. Her thoughts were too disorganized for my taste. She had come here tonight to get over an ex-boyfriend, no matter the stakes. Between those thoughts and the scent of blood mixed with gin, it wasn't hard to guess that she was not thinking too clearly.

"I would rent you a cab to help you get home in one piece," I answered.

"And you would come with me, I presume."

"That would be a false presumption, I'm afraid."

"And why is that?"

I sighed, turning away to look at her, knowing that this was the polite thing to do. Her blonde hair was pulled in a ponytail and her red lips upturned at the edges, in a weak attempt to keep her smile on.

" _Damn, sexy eyes!_ "

"I am a little busy tonight," I answered.

"You've got a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Boyfriend?"

"No."

" _What a douchebag. If he thinks I'm going to beg for his dick, he's wrong._ "

"Have a good night, ma'am," I said, standing up from my chair and trying to get lost in the crowd of people.

I followed the trails of thoughts without much success, trying to find something of interest.

" _Wonder if I locked the door at home._ "

" _That's it, tonight I'm going to tell him. We can't go on like this._ "

" _I hate this, it's too fucking hot in here_ "

" _Another glass can't hurt._ "

" _Maybe I can feed her formula and everyone will be happy._ "

" _She seems scared. Sweet Jesus, she'll be begging me for it._ "

The last mental voice alerted me in an instant. I clung to it, trying to not lose track of the man whose thoughts I had just heard. The sound came from the bathroom hallway, where he was cornering a young woman. His vision was blurry enough from the alcohol to make her features indistinct.

I moved through the dancers, this time rushing - it was tough to keep a human rhythm, but it had to be done. Once I got past the dance floor, I made my way to the common bathrooms, where the sleazy thoughts kept on pouring.

" _Bet she's out fucking every night, with that face._ "

"Please, get off me," a calm voice called - the girl - and I heard him chuckling.

The hallway that led to the bathroom was plastered with kissing couples on either side. The monster cornering the young woman almost looked normal, as he was pressing her body tightly against the wall.

"Watched you all night, pretty face, standing there, being all sexy with your girls. You want it, baby girl, just let it be."

As I came closer, I realized I had seen his victim before: it was the oddly-pale girl dressed in blue from earlier, the one who seemed so out of place. She had an abnormally calm demeanor as she was getting cornered - certainly not what I was used to in situations like the one at hand. I couldn't distinguish her thoughts from the clamor of voices I could hear, but this was not my priority: the monster was.

I was three feet away from them when it happened. A couple of girls exited the bathroom, the door moving swiftly behind them as it closed, sending a gush of air right in my direction: sweat, perfume, wine and then, all too suddenly and all too powerful, _her_. The girl with the blue blouse.

All Hell broke loose in a second.

This was a scent I had never, not even once, encountered in my century-long existence. It was pure and cursed in ways that could not be explained by words. She smelled sweet and luscious and inviting and the sound of her heartbeat made my consciousness burst into flames, begging me to do what needed to be done and savour the rapturous blood that was calling to me. The powerful fragrance rolled right down my tongue, allowing me to almost taste it, but not quite.

She smelled like flowers from another planet, dipped in a syrup that was denser than honey itself. A hint of lavender was hidden underneath all the layers, making the fragrance all the more alluring. If there was a God out there, he most certainly had given his best to make this girl smell like the best thing in the universe. Maybe he had given her other gifts as well, but that held no interest to me. I couldn't care who she was or what she liked, for her scent was the only thing that would ever make her worthy of walking this Earth. She had been born solely for this moment in time to happen: me, her, her number getting closer and closer to being up.

The thirst I was feeling was abnormal. It was too intense, blazing without mercy, making me feel as if I had never, not even once, fed. The excess venom in my mouth left me longing for more. It made my entire body ache, not only my throat, making me all too aware of my own nature, of my own needs. All other sounds had disappeared, to make room in my mind for the only sound that could matter: the abundant, wet, delicious, hot pulsing of blood beneath the thin layer of her pale skin.

There was no point in denying the obvious: I had to have her.

I could get so easily to that blood. All I had to do was kill everyone and get to her. How many people could there be in that hallway? Not more than twenty, certainly. It would take me less than five seconds to end their lives, just by breaking their necks, before getting to her. She would barely have time to process my actions before I could sink my teeth into her. But the bodies would still remain in the hallway, as a testament of my desire for the girl. It wouldn't be easy to get rid of them, seeing that I would have to drag them through the club to get them out.

But maybe the bathrooms had large enough windows. Yes, that could be it. I could make an exit through those windows, if they existed. It would take me less than a minute to have my way with this girl's blood. Any other additional witnesses that would happen to pass through the hallway during that minute could be taken care of easily.

Or maybe there was an easier option, one I had not considered. I could get the man off of her, grab her and drag her to the bathroom, forcing her into a stall where I could drain her freely. She would scream of course, but not for long, for she would pass out soon after my sharp teeth would penetrate that ivory skin of hers. _God, what hid beneath that skin_ …

Barely a second had passed since her scent hit me.

She had not noticed me - but I most certainly noticed _her_. She was still pushing the man away from her body, too calm for her own good. I didn't have time for this. She needed to be mine.

"Dude, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

The voice snapped me to my senses. It was high and alert and I had not realized it was so close to me. The girl with the curly bun from earlier was now here, pushing the man off of my meal.

" _Who the fuck is this hot piece of ass?_ "

I realized that her force was most definitely not enough for what she was trying to do, so I reached out to help her mechanically. It had taken me no effort to push the guy away - the only problem was that now I could see perfectly the network of veins that painted the delicate canvas of my girl's cleavage. The blood pulsed shamelessly behind the soft contour of her breasts, teasing me, torturing me.

In the back of my mind, I could hear the man's mind making a sleazy plan of pushing the new girl to the wall as well. Holding my breath to get the tiniest bit of reason, I grabbed his shirt and pushed him away with force. He fell on the floor with a loud thud, passing out from his own state of drunkenness. Nobody seemed to care enough to ask what had just happened.

"Thanks, stranger," the curly girl offered.

" _Prince Charming to the rescue. Although I was the bigger rescuer here."_

"Not a problem," I said, letting out a fraction of the air in my lungs. I still had enough to keep talking a little more, if needed.

"Jess, thank you," the girl with the blue blouse managed, before turning her eyes to me. "And thank you...?"

She looked at me, all too confused. This was the first time I truly noticed her eyes: two drops of melted chocolate, set on the white canvas of her sclerae. Beautiful eyes, of course, but that didn't solve the mystery of why she had made the words into a question. What was she expecting me to say? My name?

It was then that I realized a reality that hit me almost as powerfully as the scent of her blood did: seconds ago, when I was approaching her on the hallway, it wasn't the clamor of voices that made it hard for me to distinguish her own mental voice. It was the fact that there was complete radio silence from her mind. Not a shadow of a thought, just endless silence.

Her eyes were confused, still waiting for an answer to a question I didn't fully understand.

"Edward," I let out rapidly, perplexed when my answer sent a shot of blood to her cheeks.

" _A little too sexy to be named like my grandpa, but it works_ ," the girl named Jess thought.

"Well, thank you too, Edward. I'll owe you one."

She owed me more than one; she owed me her blood and there was no polite way to ask her this, especially not with her friend sitting right next to us. But I would find a way.

"Do you want to join us at our table?" her friend said. "We've one free seat."

" _We've no seats, but I'm happy to let him squeeze against me._ "

I nodded 'no'. A few more words and I would have to breathe in once again.

"Come find us in case you change your mind."

The chocolate eyed girl frowned at her friend and I wondered what exactly had offended her. Not that I really cared, for soon she would have no more reasons to be offended ever again. I watched them stepping away, back to the smoke-filled club.

I didn't return immediately. Instead, I allowed myself to rest against the wall, processing everything that had happened. One thing was clear to me: this could not be the last time I savoured the scent of that girl, whatever her name was. This was a once in a lifetime chance - it was only reasonable to be a singular event, since no one had ever smelled as good as she did. It would be so foolish of me to pass it up.

All these years, I had done the right thing. Again and again and again. Time after agonizing time. Not once did I kill an innocent human. There had been a few instances when I had felt inclined to do so, whenever my own thirst got to be a little too much for me to handle. But never, not even once, had I been as close to caving as I had been seconds ago. What would one wrong deed mean for me, after all? Just one really bad and delicious mistake per existence. It felt like a rightful bargain, if there was a God out there keeping score. If there had ever been hope for what I was, it was long gone anyway - it wasn't like I could do anything about it. I might as well enjoy my stay in Purgatory.

It didn't matter what day it was today, I was what I was. I didn't owe explanations to anyone. If _they_ had ever missed me, they only did so because they had no idea how far gone I truly was. But there would be no way for them to find out just how far I was willing to go to satisfy my nature. And furthermore, they would not even care at this point.

The only thing binding me to them was my own memory. Unlike humans, I didn't have the luxury to forget such things once I passed a certain age. I was doomed to remember them for the rest of eternity, but that didn't have to stop me from living my own truth. And my truth was out there, in the club, on a small sofa, pulsing and brimming warm with life.

As I made my way back slowly, I started analyzing my possibilities. I could go out there and ask her to dance with me. She would press her small body on mine, allowing me to feel the wonders of her circulatory system first-hand. I might lean in and fake a kiss on her blushed cheeks, only to get closer to her neck. No one would hear her scream once I would get a bite of that neck, thanks to the blaring music. Only she and I would know those screams.

Still, that could be a little too obvious once she was dead in my arms. There had to be a better way. Could I suggest going outside for a bit, to get a breath of fresh air? There was a nearby alleyway where I could take her to. The screaming part would be a little tougher to manage there, but the night held all sorts of bizarre sounds within it - her screams would only add to that.

I had to hit 'pause' on my own plans once I was back to where the dance floor was and I heard the girl's voice:

"The last train should leave in ten minutes and I am sure I can catch it."

"Okay, at least let me walk you to the train station!"

This had to be the blonde girl's voice - Angela, I remembered.

"It's fine, it's five minutes from here anyway."

"Then text me when you get back home, okay?"

"Of course, Angie. Have fun!"

 _Train station_.

So that's where she was going. This shattered my previous plans, of course, but I could adapt. I was nothing if not flexible, if that was what it took to get to that perfect blood. I didn't have a clear outline of what I was going to do when I rushed to the door. I just knew I had to get there before she did. I almost made no effort to move at a human speed, the only thing keeping me from running being my own ingrained habits.

The streets were quiet when I got out of the club. A couple was walking on the other side of the street, so I kept my pace steady. Once I passed them, I scanned the air for other noises - steps, breaths, voices, thoughts, cars, anything. I thanked God for the silence and started running. I only stopped when I heard the low hum of an approaching vehicle. Luckily, the train station was right there, just a crossroad away from me. It had taken me two minutes to get there, now all I had to do was wait for her as well.

The Port Angeles train station was ridiculously small. It only had two major train lines and one large platform that separated them. This was the epitome of convenience and all my hungers surged at once. I sat down on one of the benches. A few feet away from me, a homeless man was resting on another bench, snoring.

Earlier, the girl had said that the last train would leave in ten minutes. The last train to where? Where was she heading? I searched the surroundings with my gaze until I found what I wanted: a chart. The only train whose timing fit with the one suggested by her would be the one to Forks.

Of course she lived there. That explained her strange pallor. Or maybe she had some iron deficiency. But then again, her blood had smelled so ridiculously appealing, so wholesome, that I could not imagine it having deficiencies of any kind.

Minutes passed by, but she didn't show up. In four minutes, her train would arrive.

I wondered if anyone was waiting for her at home. There had to be someone - maybe her parents, judging by the fact that she and her friends were still in highschool. Maybe her boyfriend, if she was that type of girl. Somehow, I doubted she was; the way she had been so full of reservations and always with a frown on her face in the nightclub gave her away: she was a good girl.

It was a pity that she had to smell so good. I really didn't want to take her life, but there was no other choice. There was no doubt that this would be the first and last time I would ever encounter such an empowering scent. The least I could do was make it quick for her - there was absolutely no reason to make her suffer, as I had done with the monsters that had come before her. It would still hurt, of course, but I would not torture her.

When the train stopped in front of the platform, I began to wonder if she had even made it out of the nightclub. But all of my senses came to life when I heard hurried footsteps somewhere inside the train station building. Stuttering footsteps, but still. I stood up, right as the train was leaving.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

The girl's voice sounded positively furious. Now that her rage was making her heart beat faster, the rush of her fragrance hit me even worse than the first time. It took everything in me not to launch over her then and there. I realized I had to put on some act for her sake once she got on the platform.

"Damned train, it left before it even arrived," I complained, turning around to face her.

She had every reason to gasp as she did - it was way past midnight, she had just been assaulted in a nightclub and I was probably the last person she expected to see right now. But I, on the other hand, had no excuse for gasping as loud as I did. I was expecting her, after all. What I was most certainly not expecting was to see her properly. She looked different now, in the soft light of the lanterns, than she did in the poorly-lit club.

Her skin was pale, yes, but it also looked unreasonably creamy. Those wide chocolate eyes glistened intently as they stared into mine, almost making me overlook all the other parts of her I had just observed in passing: the plump, uneven lips, the chestnut waves falling over her chest, the rim of a black bra peeking through her blouse.

This girl didn't only smell like the most delicious thing on Earth. She was _beautiful_ , in a way that had escaped me before. A subdued type of beautiful - the kind that you only observe at a second glance, but a thousand times more commanding than all the other pretty faces in the crowd. It awakened an unknown longing deep in my stomach, one I had never felt.

I had to step back, taken aback.

"We met earlier, in the club, right? Edward?"

I nodded, aware that I had to say something in return.

"Yes, Edward Masen, and you are?"

"Bella Swan," she answered immediately. "I mean Isabella, but it's not my preference."

 _Bella_. _Isabella_. I liked both. They suited her.

But I was not here to exchange pleasantries. I had to get this over with - to end Isabella's life as painlessly as possible, even if she had barely got to live it, and drink her glorious blood.

"You were heading to Forks too, I see," she noticed - of course, the only logical explanation for both of us being on that platform at the same hour. Her mind couldn't possibly guess the reason behind my presence. Not that I knew anything about that mind, since none of her thoughts escaped her privacy. What was her secret?

"I was," I lied. "To visit a friend. I guess that has to wait."

All these words forced out all the air in my lungs and I had to breathe in once again. Fire. Unadulterated, smouldering fire. Soon there would be no more flames, only delight.

"That's a shame," she murmured, suddenly looking down at her hands.

I followed her gaze, finding her fingers fiddling with the bracelet she wore. It was a small silver one, adorning her wrist in a way that fitted her. My eyes flew once again at her blouse: the material looked almost as soft as her skin and she was lucky it was a warm summer night, otherwise she would have frozen dressed like that. The slight contour of the bra underneath caught my attention once again and I had to close my eyes, to get the image off my mind.

For God's sake, it was just a bra. And she was just a girl. I had seen both in my long string of existing on this Earth, even if not in an intimate context, without once being interested. This Bella was nothing special - only her blood was. This was the only reason I was here. But that didn't prevent my imagination from running free with thoughts of her only in that bra. I opened back my eyes, seeing that this was not working the way I had expected.

"I guess I'll have to find a motel or something," she said half-heartedly, once again breaking my concentration. "Oh, and thank you once again for helping me and my friend back there."

"No problem."

Her eyes studied my face for a few more seconds and I followed suit. It felt easy to drown in her eyes and not come back. Their unnatural depths were alluring, making me wonder if there was a way I could find an answer to the curiosity regarding her mental silence in there. There had to be something I was missing. But those depths remained quiet as I observed them.

After a little while, she looked away. She was blushing again. This blushing thing she was doing… it made me feel a certain way. It made the longing in my stomach coil, waiting to be sprung open, then slowly dissipating to my limbs, where it turned into liquid electricity.

Goddamn, why weren't my teeth glued to her veins already? Why was I losing precious time?

Maybe it was for the better. Maybe if I could lose a little more time and get her to a place secluded enough, I could enjoy her properly, without rushing to get as much of her blood out as possible in the span of one minute. This way, the worry of having to muffle her screams would no longer exist, for we would be alone.

But this was all up to how much she was willing to risk for a stranger.

"I'm in no rush," I said, giving her my friendliest smile. "If you would like, we could take a walk around the city."

It sounded like an invitation, but it really wasn't - if she refused, I would simply go back to my less exciting, more rushed plan, of drinking from her right there, on the platform.

"Right now?" she asked.

Not the response I had expected. Taken by surprise, I found myself speechless for a longer moment than intended. I took advantage of this pause, knowing that next time I would open my mouth the fire would return.

"Port Angeles can be beautiful at night," I managed in the end, swallowing the abundance of venom that inhaling her scent had brought in my mouth and ignoring the current in my limbs. "Well, at least when you're not in places like the one we've been in tonight."

She grimaced.

"Those are not my type of places, to be truthful. I was only there for my friend's birthday, the one in the hallway."

As expected - good girl through and through.

"Not my type either."

"Then why were you there?"

"Same as you, more or less," I lied without a care in the world - surely, she didn't have to know that the only reason I had chosen to be there was to hunt.

 _Come on now, stop wasting time_.

"So, any thoughts on my offer?"

"Hmmm, I don't know, I've never done this. You could be a serial killer, for all I know."

I could not afford to appear shocked at her correct assumption. Instead, I laughed, unsure whether this was better or worse. None of this would have been a problem if I could hear what went behind what she let out.

"Maybe I am," I teased her, hoping she would take my lame bait.

"Though you don't look the part."

"Is there a specific look for serial killers?"

"I don't know… I imagine them having beards and a pot belly, and you have neither."

_Oh, sweet, innocent Isabella._

The fact that she could let herself be guided solely by these criteria both amused and saddened me. But it was no cause for complaint in the end - I was thankful for whatever beliefs worked to lure her in quicker.

"Ever heard of Ted Bundy?" I asked.

"Yes, but he's not… _that_ good-looking. At least not to me."

What a strange creature. I pondered over what exactly she considered attractive in terms of physicality - not that I cared.

"Okay," she added, losing me once again.

"'Okay' what?"

"Let's go for a walk."

"So I take it I've passed the serial killer test? That easily?"

She nodded and smiled. Those plump lips of hers seemed to even out a bit when she smiled. I didn't know why I found that aspect particularly sensual. I also didn't know why my mind was wondering if her lips would taste as good as her blood smelled.

"I mean… I did say I owe you one earlier."

God bless her memory.

"There is a park not far away from here," I told her.

_Where no one will hear your screams._

"It's rather beautiful," I added.

_Because I will get to enjoy your perfect blood without having to hurry._

"Do you want to go there?"

_As if you really have a choice._

Bella accepted the invitation, smiling once again as she arranged the strap of her purse back in place when it slid from her shoulder, dragging down a bit of her top and revealing a thin black strap in the process, before fixing that as well.

Her cheeks were once again brightly coloured after this little blunder, the sight too mouth-watering for comfort. I wondered what colour they would have if other little blunders were to happen. Blunders that involved me dragging that black strap down her shoulder and testing if her skin tasted as creamy as it looked.

I couldn't recognize this new hunger. Until now, I had never craved a woman in any capacity. It would have been terribly cruel, if not downright ironic, to start craving exactly the one from which I was going to feed. There was only so much I could focus on, after all. Furthermore, there was no place for thirst and lust to overlap: it had to be one or the other, and I knew what my body needed.

Although the sudden bulge in my pants seemed to contradict my simple resolve.

"Lead the way, Edward," the girl said, too trusting.

And just as she asked, I did lead the way - to the park, to her blood, to her death.

* * *

**Here we are - the end of the first chapter!**

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	2. Happy Little Accidents

I had been in this park before - one glacial winter night, decades ago. It wasn't as well-covered by trees as I would have liked, but it was empty enough to make it ideal for my purposes. Isabella - well, Bella, as she had corrected me a couple of times on our way here - seemed to be particularly fond of the lack of trees. When I asked her why, she told me something about the green trees in Forks and how she was tired of seeing them at every step of the way. I nodded, pretending to agree with this peculiar complaint, as if I had seen those trees as well.

There was a lot of effort in the distance I had to put between our bodies as we walked - mainly because I had to have something to stop me from having my way with her before we got to the most secluded part of the park, the one that faced the Salish Sea, but also because I didn't like the way I felt the strange electricity humming between me and her. This electricity felt as primal as the fire in my throat. The only problem was that I had a plan to deal with the fire; the electricity, on the other hand, left me clueless.

"So you live here, Edward?" Bella asked after a while.

"Yes."

"Okay. And how old are you?"

I froze for a second - I was used to offering an imprecise answer to this question. Most of the IDs I had been using claimed that I was twenty-one or twenty-two, to get by the strict security rules in clubs. But this girl was no security guard, I could make the effort of being honest. It was the very least I could do, considering my less noble intentions with her.

"I'm seventeen. You?"

"I'm eighteen. I've still got a few weeks of living with my father though, before I move out."

I tried to not let the mention of her father get in the way of my needs. Her neck was hidden behind a curtain of mahogany locks, but it still drove me wild with the way it pulsed with life. Her hair was also covering the small curvature of her chest - this bugged me a little, because there was no polite way to ask her to push it back, so I could stare in peace. If only I could reach out, to do it on my own…

No. This strange lust had no place here.

"And then what?" I said, shaking my head at my own foolishness. "Where are you heading?"

"I'm… not entirely sure. I'm taking a gap year, to figure things out."

"You said you're moving out in a few weeks."

"I did. I've found a decent internship for high school graduates. It's in Olympia."

"And that consists of?"

"Being an assistant librarian. I'll have a job as well, of course, because that internship won't pay my rent."

It was hard to focus on her words, but not entirely. I was still very much focusing on her blood; however, my curiosity regarding her mind kept me in check, even if just barely.

"That's unusual," I contemplated. "But your father - wouldn't he be upset about you walking with a stranger at night?"

"He'd probably be. But I'm eighteen, so he'd have to suck it up. And you don't feel much like a stranger, to be honest."

"How so?"

"I don't know… I feel oddly comfortable right now."

Good. This only made things easier. But the way she bit her lip, hiding thoughts only she knew, didn't. It only made the new thirst grow stronger.

"I would like to understand why," I admitted.

She seemed to ponder over her answer for a bit. Was this a good time to take her behind the dense shrubbery and sink my teeth inside her carotid?

"I think this certainly has to do with what happened in the club, with that guy, to some extent," she said before I got to take action. "I did get scared for a second, to be completely honest with you."

"I suppose that's normal. Good thing your friend and I were close by."

She nodded, a small frown forming between her eyebrows. I could not tell if I had said anything to tip her off. It really didn't matter in the end if I did, but it would have been such a pity if I had to cut my plans short now.

"I assume you get that a lot though," I added, in an idiotic bid to chase her frown away.

"Get what a lot?"

"Lewd men going after you."

My effort did not pay off - it got her to frown even more.

"It has happened a few times. I try not to pay attention for the most part."

"That's the smart thing to do," I agreed. "Most of the time at least."

"I think you're right. One time, I did try to chase one away with a pepper spray my dad gave me and... it wasn't my brightest decision."

"What happened?"

I was only being polite at this point, trying to make her feel engaged during these last moments of her life.

"It ended up getting in my eyes and it hurt _so_ bad! Like nothing I've experienced before. My eyes stung for days after that."

Bella chuckled, as if this most acute pain she was describing was somehow funny. What a strange human.

"Anyway, the harassment hasn't been as bad since I moved to Forks, thank God," she added.

"I thought you've always lived there."

"No, I only moved there last winter. I have spent most of my life in Phoenix."

That surprised me. Her skin was so abnormally pale that I never would have guessed she had even seen the sun directly. It looked like fresh cream, without the caramel glow specific to people who lived in warm places. But I liked it this way - had she not had this ridiculous pallor, I wouldn't have seen the veins underneath so perfectly. And my, oh, my, those veins… Venom rushed in my mouth, to remind me of the endgame.

We were closer now to the most secluded part of the park and I almost froze in place when I heard laughter coming from the other side - it seemed that a group of partying teenagers had entered through the gates. This set me aback, realizing that I could not carry out my plan the way I had hoped.

"You don't look the part," I replied in the end, wondering if she could hear the sudden nervousness in my tone.

"My mother is part albino."

I had to look at her, to see if I had imagined the sarcasm in her voice. Judging by the smile playing on her lips, I hadn't. If the rest of her face was milky in colour, her lips most definitely weren't. They looked like pink cherry blossoms in full bloom, only way more appetizing. I remembered the blonde woman in the bar who had tried to flirt with me - specifically how her red lips had held no interest for me. But Bella's, on the other hand... seemed to be in an entirely different league. And for whatever reason, they made me wonder if they were as soft and warm to the touch as they appeared to be.

 _No_. These were not sane thoughts to have - not when seconds ago I was fantasizing about how divine her blood would taste. It was sick to even picture myself trying to get close to her in any other way, when in the end it would only bring her death.

"You're funny," I said in the end, acknowledging her sarcasm.

"You're sharp," she replied, studying me with curious eyes.

I knew I could not hold her gaze for long. Her eyes seemed to stare into my very core, and this was something I was not accustomed to. And as if that wasn't enough, she was blushing again. Did she seriously not realize how enticing that colour looked on her? It did not help me at all in my mission to keep focused only on what mattered. My mind was quickly becoming a battlefield for two desires - and one of them was completely, utterly, powerfully, annoyingly new.

Maybe it was for the best that I could not read her thoughts. I had plenty of my own as it was.

"So," I began, making an effort to move my eyes from her - if I couldn't see her, I couldn't fawn over her muted beauty. "Why did you move to Forks, anyway, since you hate those green trees you told me about?"

"Well, I guess I wanted to offer my mother some space."

An unusual answer, just like everything else about her.

"Elaborate," I pleaded.

"She's remarried and now wants to go on the road with her husband. He's a baseball player, so it makes sense."

"You don't think she would have waited another year, so you could finish highschool?"

"I don't know, but I didn't want to push my luck. Besides, I don't want to be a burden to anyone."

I could see in the corner of my eye the shrugging gesture she made, as if she didn't even realize the selflessness of such an act. However, the slight chagrin behind her words had not escaped me.

"This doesn't seem to make you too happy, though," I noticed.

"No, I'm fine, really. It's just that Forks is not my kind of place. I prefer warm, sunny places. And it can get a little tedious to live somewhere where everyone knows everyone, you know?"

"I'd imagine. But if you like those sunny places so much, I don't see why you'd choose to go to Olympia."

She sighed deeply. Had I pressed a sensitive button without even knowing? Was she simply exasperated with my growing curiosity? It was hard to tell, since I had been relying on my special hearing most of my life when it came to social cues. Her mental silence was almost mocking.

"I chose Olympia because I don't want to live that far away from my dad. At least not yet. He gets… a little lonely, even if he won't tell me."

Tke kindness behind her words took me by surprise.

"That's very kind of you," I offered sincerely. "Forgive me if this comes across as inappropriate, but it seems to me that you keep making decisions for the sake of those around you more than… just for you."

A small silence followed, and I had to inhale deeply, to fill my lungs with more air - I needed the air if I wanted to be capable of maintaining the conversation further. The air brought another wave of venom in my mouth, as soon as Bella's fragrance hit me with force for the hundredth time.

"I'm… I don't know," she mumbled.

"Sorry, it was just an observation. You know best, obviously."

"No, I mean… maybe you're right. But at the same time… I've got an entire life of being selfish, if I so please. I just don't see the point in starting early."

"Maybe to be happy."

"I am happy," she emphasized every word. "Maybe not the kind of happy they make movies about, but who needs that anyway?"

The way her mind worked troubled me. She truly seemed to believe what she was saying. But humans were rarely motivated by anything other than their own caprices, maybe even more so when they were young - this much I had noticed in my years of reading countless minds. There had to be something more that this particular human was hiding. If only her mind could open, just for a second...

Risking everything, I threw another glance at Bella. I couldn't have chosen a worse moment to do so: her purse had slid once again from her shoulder, dragging her blouse down. I watched shamelessly as she was trying to cover her bra strap, feeling the swelling in my jeans hardening upon admiring that sight.

Goddamn, I would have to find a way to get rid of that later on. I was not oblivious, I knew that I would probably need just a few minutes by myself to relieve this tension - it was just that I had never felt this particular tension until this very moment.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I tried dressing up nicely for tonight and I was not expecting this thing to just… keep falling. It's embarrassing."

I heard her heartbeat accelerating when she spoke.

"Don't worry," I offered. _If you could get rid of that blouse altogether, I would be very grateful._ "It's just a silly blouse - although you do look beautiful in it." _And probably even more beautiful without it_.

"Thanks. You… don't look so bad yourself."

This took me by surprise. I knew I was enjoying what I was seeing more than I should have, but to hear her acknowledge that she felt the same way - although I was willing to bet not to the same all-encompassing extent - made me feel unusually smug.

"Thank you," I responded.

We walked in silence for a while, the only sounds in my ears being those of her heart and of the teenagers that were now discovering weed for the first time in their lives. It hurt that I could no longer drink from her here, now that we had hearing witnesses; but they would leave at some point. Or we could leave, if they intended on staying longer than I could bear.

We had finally arrived at the area facing the Salish Sea, a line of moored boats adorning its cobalt shore. The sea appeared to be rather calm tonight - an appropriate contrast to the storm unravelling inside me.

"This is the prettiest thing I've seen since the year started," Bella said, pausing to take in the view. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"Oh, it is my utmost pleasure."

"Are you sure you are seventeen, Edward?"

Unsure how to react to her accurate incertitude, I laughed.

"Positive," I said.

"I'm not, you're too... polite. Kind of like an old man."

"Would you prefer me being rude?"

"Oh, God, no! There's plenty of that back home."

We laughed together and I cursed myself for ever bringing this girl down this path. She did not deserve to die; I knew it, I felt it. But what choice did I have? I was not willing to let the most delicious human in existence simply slip through my fingers.

"I can't imagine why any boy would ever be rude to you," I admitted.

Had I not been the atrocity that I was, I would have gone out of my way to get in her good graces. My words made the pink hue return to her cheeks. This time, however, it was way more pronounced - scarlet almost. I tried to understand the reason behind it, to no avail.

"You're blushing," I said. "Why?"

She turned her face away immediately, and I cursed myself for saying that outloud.

"It's nothing," she rushed to answer.

"Bella..."

"It's something silly."

"I'd like to hear it," I insisted.

"You might laugh."

"I promise I won't."

"How can I be sure?"

 _Somebody stop me_.

Before I knew it, my hand was in the air, travelling at its own accord towards her face. It all happened too fast, even for me, to realize what I was doing. I felt as if I was a mere spectator when my index finger and thumb grazed ever so slightly along her chin, turning it so that she could look at me.

The contact had not lasted more than one second. But in that very short second, her skin felt like pure fire. It almost burned me - not necessarily with how hot it felt against the cold ice of my skin, but rather with the jolting current that started running through me the moment I touched her. Every nerve in my body came alive with need at once.

She didn't recoil, she didn't pull away, like she should have upon feeling my temperature. Her eyes simply widened and her pupils dilated, right when I was letting go of her.

"Because, in your words, I'm polite like an old man," I said, recovering from what had just happened. "If that's the case, how could I laugh at you?"

"That's… a fair point."

"Then I'm listening."

More seconds passed by and I wondered if the silence was her way of recovering - if she even needed such a thing.

"I was just thinking… how it's a little sad that we don't live in the same town."

Bella didn't look directly at me when she talked this time.

"Why do you think it's sad?" I demanded.

"We could have been friends."

Sorrow laced her voice this time around.

"We _are_ friends now," I said lamely.

"Yes, until you go home, I find a place to crash in for the night and then we never hear from each other again."

If only she knew that this night would not end like this. It could not possibly end like this, when her scent burned within me fiercer than flames. I could not resist this fire even if I wanted to.

"Well, do you want to hear from me again, Bella?"

"I... don't think I'd mind if I did?"

Her words turned into a question right at the very end.

"Then we'll just exchange phone numbers before we part ways," I lied.

She seemed pleased with this resolution, but the happiness did not last long, for another frown darkened her face, causing a small dimple to appear between her eyebrows.

"Or we don't have to, if-"

"No, no, I want to," she interrupted me. "It just crossed my mind that it might not be a good idea if you've got a girlfriend or anything."

"I don't," I assured her. "Never had. And even if I had, I don't see why I couldn't be your friend."

Except that in such a laughably impossible scenario, being friends with Bella would have been very dangerous, beyond the obvious threat of my nature. I liked to believe that, at my core, I was a loyal man, even if I had never had the chance to be challenged in this regard. But I feared that my loyalty could go out the window with this young woman nearby.

"You've never had one? For real?"

"Never," I admitted. "Not even close."

"I wouldn't have guessed."

"And you?"

"Me? Oh, no. If I don't count this kid in middle school that took me out for ice cream."

"I guess that didn't work out, huh?" I smiled.

"Not really. He bought me chocolate chip mint, when all I really wanted was cookie dough."

"Cookie dough. Noted."

Not that I would ever get to buy her ice cream. Although I would have right now, if any stores were open at this hour. Last meal before she died and all that jazz. It was getting more and more torturous to resist all the different temptations she posed.

"What's your favourite flavour?" she queried.

"Lavender," I responded in an instant, before realizing my blunder.

She was still talking about ice cream, while I was too busy getting drunk on the honey lavender scent emanating from her in thick waves. I was a complete and utter idiot.

"That's an odd one," she grimaced. "Does it even exist?"

"In some artisanal places," I explained, having no idea if I was right or not and trying very hard not to hide my face in my hands out of embarrassment.

"Hm, I'll have to try it myself someday."

"Maybe I'll take you one of these days."

I didn't know why I had just said that. I had to be a special kind of monster to offer her this hope when in a few hours she would no longer breathe. This girl deserved better, yet I found myself unable to walk away.

"There are not many artisanal places in Forks, just so you know."

"Then you'll just have to make another trip to Port Angeles for my sake," I quipped.

"I'd make more than one," she murmured.

Her voice cracked towards the end, betraying something - nervousness, if I had guessed correctly. But there was no reason for her to feel that way, unless... was she trying to _flirt_? With _me_? If she was, it was clear to me that she was not experienced with this, like the countless women that had tried before her. Yet I found her more charming than all of those women combined. The throbbing erection in my jeans seemed to agree with me too.

Experienced or not, the realization caught me off-guard. Maybe I was just imagining things - but then again, maybe not. Her mind was completely safe from my power, for whatever annoying reason, so I had to second guess everything with her.

"Sorry, I don't know why I just said that", she sputtered, perhaps conflicted by the sudden frown on my face. "Is it weird?"

"Not at all," I answered and made an effort to smile, hoping that this would put her worries at ease. "In fact, I find you particularly captivating, Bella."

"Ha! Now it's my turn to say you're funny."

"Suit yourself. But I was not joking."

"Sure you weren't," she chuckled.

"Would I be here if it weren't the case?"

"I don't know you well enough to know what you would and wouldn't do."

She confronted me with her gaze, but her raging heartbeat gave away her emotions. My eyes were once again drawn to the thin, almost transparent fabric of her blouse - more specifically, what hid underneath. Then her throat. Then back to her body. Then her throat again. Then her body.

Damn those kids on the other side of the park! I wanted to be alone with her.

"Okay, let's get walking, stubborn thing," I suggested, knowing that the hungers screaming in me could not be kept under control for much longer.

"I'm not stubborn!"

"I hope you realize the irony of that."

My hands were once again making decisions before I did, because this time I woke up grabbing her waist softly, and directing her to move. I backed down as soon as I realized what the hell I was doing. Her body reacted in unexpected ways: her breath caught up, her heartbeat quickened and a new smell made its way through the air and into my airways. It was just as appealing as her blood, but so different. I could not recognize it.

"Where are we going?" she demanded.

"The pier. It's quite a beautiful place." _And it is also mostly abandoned._

Bella seemed to be into this new idea. As we walked, chatting idly, I could not help but notice the fact that the distance that had existed between us before we entered the park was no longer there. A few times, our hands touched by accident. And each accident sent me spinning into a new vortex of lust. It appeared that the more time I was spending by her side, the more intense the needs for her got.

I had hoped that the thirst would win over the more human cravings of my body, but that did not happen. Instead, the latter cravings deepened with each passing minute, slowly making me realize that her blood was not the only thing I absolutely needed to possess tonight. I kept readjusting my erection whenever she would look to the side, praying that she would not notice.

My hands were aching for more happy little accidents - and I might have forced myself to keep them in my pockets, if her reactions had not been so encouraging. But when I touched her waist again, to guide her on the pier, she did not move away, she simply eased into my touch, as if I had done that countless times before, so I kept it there for seconds on end, until we arrived in front of a bench.

We sat down and the fragile breeze sent Bella's scent violently in my nostrils. This was ridiculous: the salty air somehow made her scent more potent. As if this girl needed to smell more delicious than she already did. As if I needed more reasons to burn.

"You're not tired at all?" she checked.

I tried to not burst out laughing. There was no way to let her know that I did not need to sleep without freaking her out - so I simply told her that I had had a good nap in the afternoon.

"Are you trying to send me to sleep?" I teased her.

"I wouldn't dream of that. I enjoy being in your company."

"Good, because the feeling is mutual."

Her gaze was lost somewhere in the distance and I took this as an opportunity to study her. This could be my cue. All that I had to do was brush her hair off her throat, lean down and sink my teeth in that alabaster skin of hers. No one was here. It would hurt, but there was no other way. Pleasure sometimes came with pain - even if in this particular instance, the pleasure would be all mine, and the pain all Bella's.

At the same time, my hands twitched to touch her, to discover the curves hiding underneath the layers. The thought of my lips on the side of her neck set all my monsters ablaze. They wanted everything that this girl had to offer: flesh and blood, in that exact order. But the mere mental image of me even attempting to take her was ridiculous. I had never done it before, how deranged did I have to be to even want to do it with my prey? My very, _very_ beautiful prey…

"Some of these boats look all but abandoned," Bella noticed innocently, the simple observation clashing with the chaos inside my head.

"I'm pretty sure some of them are."

"Have you ever been on a boat?"

Once. When I followed a couple on board of a cruise ship, so that I could get rid of the husband. He had raped his wife several times in the past - and he wanted to do it again, in the middle of the ocean. I had made sure he didn't get the chance to do so.

"Yes, on a cruise ship."

"And did you like it?"

His blood had tasted of medicine and alcohol, so most definitely not.

"Not particularly. It was a little crowded for my taste."

"I get that. I mean I've never been on a cruise, just on fishing trips with my father, but I'd feel the same way."

"You don't like crowds then?" I checked.

"Not their biggest fan. I got lost in one when I was little, so that might have to do with it."

"How did that happen?"

"Ah, it's nothing spectacular. The old tale of the kid wandering to find the sweets aisle in the supermarket and the mother being too stressed to notice."

"Of course this happened to you," I chuckled.

"Yes, now it's your turn! Tell me something crazy from your childhood."

There was hope in her tone and all of a sudden I felt discouraged, realizing that I would have to let her down. The memories of my childhood were so far behind that I could barely remember any of them clearly. The transformation had made them awfully blurry - the passing of time only accentuated that.

"I don't think I can remember something that is good enough," I admitted.

"Oh, that's all right. Then maybe something more recent?"

My most recent memories could not hold any interest to her. They were all bitter tales of murder and self-doubt - hardly a fun topic to discuss.

"I stumbled upon a beautiful girl in the train station in the middle of the night and asked her to take a walk with me," I responded, realizing that this was, in fact, the craziest thing I had done recently. Maybe ever. She was the highlight of this half-life I had been living, albeit a most temporary highlight.

"Ha, you're good!"

"It is also true."

"You know, you've got to be careful with saying these things - I might just believe you."

"I might just hope you would."

She turned to face me and her amused expression melted when our eyes met. I didn't know what had driven her sarcasm away, but I did not care. I was aware that I was now sitting even closer to her than before, the electrical current humming between us. Did she feel this electricity too or was I insane?

"Tell me what you're thinking right now," I murmured, taking the only road to her mind that I could.

"I think... you're quite a dangerous friend to have, Edward."

She was right in more ways than she imagined.

"How so?"

"For starters, I'm not usually out this late with my regular friends."

"I feel privileged then."

"You should," she smiled.

"Anything else?"

"Yes, but nothing I want to share."

"Tease."

She shrugged, but didn't turn away this time, even when she blushed. Her pupils were once again dilated, her lips parted, an invitation too good to be refused. It felt as if I was stepping into Heaven and Hell at the same time when my fingers raised to touch her chin once more. Her bottom lip quivered upon my cold touch.

"Does this bother you?" I checked.

Bella nodded, signaling a silent 'no'. With her approval, I allowed myself to linger, to feel the heat properly. It reverberated through my frozen veins and right to the center of my body, sending my head spinning with fantasies I had only seen in other people's minds in the past. I could picture myself tracing the rest of her face with my fingertips, before lowering my touches. I could picture myself unbuttoning that blouse and taking that black bra underneath off, so that she would no longer worry about its useless straps. I would admire the way her veins rippled in intricate networks underneath her breasts… I yearned to touch those breasts just as much as I yearned to drain them of all the blood that circulated through their tissues.

My fingers wandered further, towards her temple. I was focusing on keeping my touches on a soft level, trying not to hurt her by accident - a difficult thing to do, since my body was begging me to forget all about delicacy and just claim this girl, right on this bench. The monster that was blazing with concupiscence for Bella did not care that it would be the first time for both of us, he simply wanted relief. And he could guess that this relief would only be found somewhere deep inside her body, where I could not reach as long as our clothes were on.

"Edward?" her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke and I enjoyed the way she seemed to be unable to gain back control over her breaths.

"Yes?"

"I don't want to mess this up."

Real concern was adorning the chocolate pools of her eyes. I allowed my hand to cup her face, feeling her erratic pulse behind her ears picking up under my fingertips. Ice meeting fire and, by some miracle, not melting - that was exactly how this particular touch felt. And for reasons unknown to me, she seemed to enjoy it.

"I don't think that's possible."

I had no idea how or when our faces had got so close to one another, but I could not find it in me to care. Her warm breath came in sweet waves over me, sending pain in every cell of my body with how appetizing it smelled.

"I am still very much a stranger to you," I murmured. "Tell me if you want me to stop, I will understand."

"I trust you."

A wrong decision on her part, but it was the one I had been praying she would make.

For the shortest moment, I forgot all about what made me different from her. The volume of my thirst lowered just enough for me to imagine I was nothing but a boy, and she was nothing more than a girl, ready to discover the raw beauty of a first kiss. The taste of anticipation in the air almost made me feel guilty for ever thinking about hurting this precious being. She deserved to be loved by someone good enough for her, not drained by an abominable creature like me.

But all that went out the window when our lips finally met. The contact unleashed an electrical storm upon us, so powerful that the globe could have stopped spinning, allowing me to taste the delicious lavender firsthand and making both of us tremor. The initial shock dissipated quickly, followed by the need to dive deeper into this merciless storm. Through a haze, I felt her hands meeting my hair and pulling me closer to her. I obliged, but I made the mistake of inhaling right when I was reaching to press my lips to hers once again.

The current intermingled with the powerful conflagration of my thirst and there was nothing I could do but moan, caught under this violent attack of my own senses. Bella misconstrued my moan and I felt her lips parting under mine, a soft sound escaping from her throat as well. Venom started pooling in my mouth in response.

This was it, the very beginning of the feast.

Before I could bite, I felt her tongue grazing my bottom lip, in a way that made me forget about what I was going to do. In response, I let my own tongue slip out and find hers. She felt like hot wildfire and I almost expected steam to come out from the temperature difference between us. She didn't seem to mind that, her mouth too busy discovering me to notice anything else.

When one of her hands descended to my chest, one finger slipping innocently through the open space between two buttons and on to my skin, I felt completely lost. I had never been touched before, and most certainly not like this. My free hand automatically grabbed her wrist, locking it in place, capturing the sheer perfection of that touch.

With this ever deepening kiss, my mind was trying - and failing - to comprehend the intensity of the new experience. I only wanted Bella closer, and my instincts led the way for me: without interrupting our connection, I grabbed her waist and made her stand up from the bench, only to pull her back down over me, so that she could straddle me. If before, I could only guess whether she had seen my attempts at covering my excitement or not, there was no hiding it now: my cock, harder than it had ever been, was pressing shamelessly between her legs, letting her know just how far gone I was.

My other thirst did not let me enjoy this too long. I was very much aware of how everything about Bella got better as I was kissing her: the aroma of her blood, the song of her pulse, the scent exploding through her every pore. As much as I wanted more, my body would not let me have it, my most primal need reminding me that I was still very much a slave in a prison I had never asked to be locked in.

It almost hurt when, completely helpless in front of my shameful requisites, I parted from the kiss and trailed off to her neck. The pleasure of feeling the soft skin under my lips made me groan loudly, knowing that I was going to do it.

Right now.

 _Bite her_.

 _Drink her_.

 _Drain her_.

"Edward," as muted as it was, Bella's voice somehow managed to pull me from my trance. "What are we doing?"

My mouth was quivering on the side of her throat - I was channeling my every effort into being attentive to what she was saying and not sinking my teeth in her.

"I don't know," I confessed. "I got carried away, I'm sorry."

"No, don't be."

"I can stop."

"Please don't."

With her blessing, I started licking hungrily down her throat, feeling like a madman in the process. Bella was heaving now, every ounce of control over her own reactions being long gone. I loved the fact that, for whatever twisted reason, I could have this effect on her.

"Edward."

I grunted, but stopped as soon as I had heard her again.

"Too much?" I checked.

"No!"

When she didn't expand beyond that, I found myself demanding more explanations:

"Then please, my dear Bella, tell me what you want, because I am going crazy over here."

Her hand started tugging at my hair, and it took me a little too long to realize that she was trying to get me to lift my face from her neck and look at her. When I finally got the cue and looked up, I was surprised by what I found. There seemed to be no signs of wavering in her eyes, for they definitely shared one of my urges - the more human one.

"I'd like to continue this," she said. "Just not here, where people might walk by."

We were both playing with fire at this point. I had no idea if I could offer this to her fully, without caving and biting her midway. But damn, I wanted to try. And she was way too trusting, for reasons that I could not seem to understand. But I didn't have to understand those reasons when she was grinding back and forth over the hardness in my jeans with so much resolve.

I cursed under my breath, not quite believing that this was all happening and it was not some bizarre fever dream - not that I remembered what those were like. But the chances of finding the most beautiful, most delicious girl in the world in the same night were slim to none. I would have had better luck drawing water from a rock. Out of all the possible things that could have made my existence more appealing, more worth-living, this had never been one that I had expected or even wished for.

And it was downright cruel that it was doomed to be so short-lived.

"Are you sure?" I demanded to know.

"Very."

She waited, not even moving while I was struggling to find my next words. I felt almost ridiculous. Minutes ago, I had been seconds away from feeding from her. Yet here I was, negotiating the whereabouts of where we could fuck undisturbed.

"To hell with this," I managed in the end. "Let's go."

* * *

**Uh-oh, things are about to get hot :)!**

**If you've enjoyed this chapter, I would love to know what your thoughts on it were. Small or big, each review makes my day and fuels my creativity further, trust me! And responding to them is really the cherry on top of a fabulous cake!**

**So what did you think about Edward's and Bella's encounter?**

**How long do you think Edward can resist the temptation of Bella's blood?**

**Would you have made a different decision on the pier, if you were in Bella's shoes?**

**I cannot wait to know what you think!**

**Stay safe and happy out there!**


	3. Heaven Ablaze

**Guys, your love for this story is simply leaving me breathless! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the comments!**

**A special shout out to CoppertopJ, who is the loveliest beta in the world and to DaniDarlingxx, my bestie and my pre-reader, who is also an amazing author!**

**Now... it's time to see what Edward and Bella are doing, since they were both pretty fired up, to put it mildly, by the end of the second chapter.**

* * *

First times - humans always liked to make a big deal about them, especially when it came to sex. Way too often, they would glorify the concept so much, that it became a nauseating joke. I had never truly given much thought to the idea that I would ever experience a first night of passion with someone - anyone, really. Women had come and gone, shooting their rightful shot at me and leaving whenever I would politely refuse.

Yet here I was, marveling at this silent wonder: this delicious human would be my first. And I would be hers just the same. A voice from the deepest pits of my conscience made sure to tell me that we would not only be each other's 'first's, we would also be each other's 'last's - not for the ridiculous, pompous reasons that humans excused as love, but for two simple truths. The first: I was aware that if no one had ignited this desire within me until now, no one would after Bella. And the far sadder second truth: she would not come to live past tonight.

We were holding hands as we made our way down the pier - I had to touch her somehow, and this had to be enough for the moment. My patience was growing thinner with each passing second and I wouldn't have minded one bit if she would have asked me to take her there, on the wooden floor. But I had read enough minds in the last century to know that humans appreciated some semblance of comfort when it came to losing their virginity.

Of course, Bella was no ordinary human, that much I had discovered about her during the short time spent together.

"All right, I think we can find a decent hotel a few blocks away from here," I said, my steps becoming more hurried.

Why the hell did I just suggest going to a hotel, where people could hear her screams when I would let my teeth discover her veins?

"Can't we find something closer?" she complained.

She was not making my job any easier. I stopped and turned around, to face her. Her skin was all flushed with excitement, her heart racing madly. I swallowed the venom brought on by the sight of her and leaned down, to kiss her again. She responded just like she had done earlier: sighing profusely under the pleasant pressure, opening her mouth to invite me in - and just like before, I accepted this illicit invitation, once again getting a taste of her soft, blazingly hot tongue.

My hands started roaming her body, all too eager to discover her beyond the silk blouse she was wearing. The feel of her curves under my fingers made my cock twitch with need in my jeans, begging me to forget all reason and surrender to my most primal needs.

Bella was right - we needed something closer. Something where we would not be heard. Something where only I would hear her screams when the time came.

"We might have some luck with one of these boats," I murmured over her lips. "What do you think?"

"The boats?"

"I mean they've got to have a bed somewhere on the lower deck."

"How do we get there?"

"Leave it to me."

"Okay."

With a considerable effort, I parted from her, grabbing her hand once again and leading the way towards the row of boats lining the pier. All of them were held in place with heavy chains. Some chains, however, seemed to have collected heavy layers of rust, as a testament of how long they had stayed in the very same place, forgotten - maybe even abandoned. The chains attached to a particular cabin cruiser appeared to be especially rusty; I figured no one would miss the cruiser.

Bella looked suddenly unsure, her eyes darting from the boat to me. Even her previous blush had disappeared. She must have changed her mind. Had I done something wrong without realizing?

"Listen, if you no longer want to-"

"It's not that," she interrupted me. "I just can't see how I can ever get on that boat, I'm not… uhm, the sporty type."

I looked at her, dumbfounded. I was pretty sure one would not need to be the sporty type to have sex.

"I don't follow," I admitted, defeated by her quiet mind.

"For God's sake, I can't make that jump, it's too far!"

She gestured towards the boat with her hands, as if I was missing something obvious. It took me a few seconds to understand what was going on.

"You don't think you can jump on the boat, Bella?" I queried, trying not to laugh.

"Yes, don't look at me like that."

Rolling my eyes, I wasted no more time and lifted her in my arms at a speed that would not startle her human senses. I jumped the ridiculous three feet distance that separated the pier from the boat, landing with a thud on the wooden deck. I let Bella down easily, still keeping my arms around her.

"See? No big deal."

"Thank you."

There she went again, with the blushing. My mind was already in overdrive from the ecstasy of this new lust; the reminder of her blood pooling under her skin only served to obliterate me. This girl would be the end of me as much as I would be the end of her.

Through my musings, I had noticed her pulse picking up.

"Are you nervous?" I checked, keeping my voice low.

"No. It's just that… this might be the most exciting thing I've done in my entire life."

"Would you believe me if I told you it is the same for me?"

This was true in more ways than she could ever guess. Immortality was not the be-all and end-all gift humans would imagine it to be. More often than not, it was tedious. Just a long, never ending chore that would never be finished. It was tough to keep yourself entertained - passing acquaintances could only keep things interesting for so long.

"I might," she smiled and reached out for another kiss.

There was nothing I could do but accept this invitation. If the fire in my throat didn't burn so badly, I would have gladly spent hours just moving my lips against hers. Alas, it was not something I could ever extinguish with sheer will alone. I tried convincing myself once again that I could do this, that I could take Bella's body and blood, in that exact order. If I could make the first experience pleasurable for her in any capacity, then maybe the second would not be as atrocious.

I could hope.

Not pulling away from the kiss, I started taking several steps on the deck, slightly lifting Bella's feet up in the air so that I could pull her with me easily. The one door that led to the lower deck was locked, but it was not a problem. To mask the sound of forcing it out of its hinges, I allowed myself a loud groan - there was no need to fake it, for the way my desires played inside my head made me crave to be loud.

With the door opened, I took Bella in my arms and climbed down the small flight of stairs. The lower deck was not the most welcoming place. It was obvious that it had not been cleaned for months, if not years. The clutter of its owner was everywhere: pieces of clothing, magazines, food wrapping paper, cans of body spray. Thankfully, there was a bed as well - it was covered in magazines, but that was hardly a problem.

While I could see everything perfectly, I knew Bella's eyes could only see pitch black, so I looked for the closest light switch and tapped it. The light bulb flickered a few times, before fully enveloping the cabin in an incandescent glow.

"Wow, this is…"

"I bet you wish we would've gone to a hotel now, don't you?" I teased her, letting her down on the ground, facing away from me, and wrapping my arms around her with caution.

"No, I don't. People can hear stuff in hotels, right?"

I hoped that she didn't notice the way my body tensed up at her question. Intuition could be a human's best defense against our kind, and I really didn't want Bella to dig too deeply inside her more reasonable senses.

"They can, I suppose," I replied, moving my hands on her hips and pulling her closer, so that my erection could press tightly against her bottom.

I heard a small gasp leaving her lips, but she didn't protest. Instead, she pressed herself further, allowing her body to mold against mine. I decided I liked the way this felt - not necessarily because the feeling of my cock against her buttocks felt heavenly in a hundred different ways, but rather because this embrace felt _right_ , almost as if we had done this countless times before.

How was I supposed to live _without_ this, once all of her blood would be in my system and she would no longer breathe? But then again, what choice did I have? If, by some miracle, I could find the strength to keep her alive tonight, I knew myself well enough to have no doubt about the fact that I would most definitely come back after her as soon as I found a reasonable excuse.

At the end of the day, prolonging the inevitable was pointless.

"So you should know that I've never done anything remotely close to… this," Bella whispered.

"I figured that much when you told me about your middle school 'boyfriend' who bought you the wrong ice cream."

She laughed - a nervous laugh, though. Not quite knowing what could relieve her, I leaned down to press my lips on her cheek. The long, delighted sigh that followed seemed like a good sign.

"Have you?" she added.

"Well, I was telling you the truth earlier, when I said that I've never had a girlfriend. So the answer is 'no'. In fact, I haven't even felt… this need."

My words did not fully encompass how maddening the desire for her actually was, but they had to make do.

"Me neither," she replied. "Can we take it slow?"

"Agreed."

I felt her squirming under my arms and I understood that she wanted to turn around. I loosened my grip on her, watching as she turned to face me. Her eyes were two pools of chocolate when she raised them up to me, holding my gaze as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do.

Subdued by those eyes and all of my conflicting monsters, I leaned down to kiss her again, taking her face in my hands as I did. There was no holding back my moan when her mouth opened under the delicious pressure and mine did the same in return. I inhaled the exasperating scent of her blood, letting it wash across my senses and ruin me. My head was in a complete haze, trying to find a way to hold back the thirst just enough so that I could enjoy the closeness.

But the thirst would not let up, it would only come back stronger, hitting me, wave after painful wave. In an attempt to push it at the back of my mind, I allowed my hands to quench their curiosity and slipped them just slightly underneath the hem of her blouse, on the warm skin of her abdomen. She shivered ever so slightly under my cold touch and I had to retract my hand immediately.

This would be harder than I had initially thought.

"I'm so sorry," I murmured, pulling back from the kiss, but not daring to look her in the eye.

"No! It felt good."

I said nothing as I mentally cursed the cold body in which I was stuck.

"Could you maybe… do it again?" she added softly, demolishing the root of my conflict. She wanted this. She wanted _me_. And by God, I wanted all of her.

In response, I slipped my hands once again under her thin blouse, venturing a little further, up to her waist.

"You feel really good, Bella," I told her, although my choice of words was not doing the sentiment justice. She felt absolutely divine, with her searing skin melting under my fingers.

My hands went up, over her rib cage, feeling her heartbeat hastening, her fragrance pulsing in the air between us with all its hypnotizing notes: soft lavender, blushing peony, honeyed freesia. I could make out the rim of Bella's bra with my fingertips, but I had to remind myself to be patient.

"Do you want to move this to a more comfortable place?" I queried.

She nodded 'yes' and I didn't need more to sweep her feet off the floor. I made an effort to keep a slow, steady pace on my way to the bed. Once there, I kicked the magazines off the mattress and placed Bella on it with great care.

I felt very much like a walking fraud. All the gentleness of my actions would crumble to the ground soon.

Watching this girl I barely knew, laying in front of me, unaware of what she had awoken, almost made me regret every step I had taken to bring her here. I should have walked away as soon as I had pushed that sleazy guy off of her. I shouldn't have looked back one second. I should have run as far away as possible - in a different state even, just to put as much distance as possible between me and her.

But when her eyes met mine, holding an unspoken hunger behind the deep wells of her irises, there was no room for regret. I wanted more of those eyes. More of those lips she was now biting. More of her, whatever that meant. Without further ado, I joined her on the small bed, coming on top of her and trying to keep most of my weight off of her, so I wouldn't accidentally crush her.

Her hands reached out to grab my shirt and I momentarily froze, just watching as her fingers trembled and fumbled with the buttons. She managed to undo the first two, but I could tell she was having a hard time with the rest.

"Need any help?" I asked.

"Please."

I undid the rest of the buttons for her, feeling an unexpected satisfaction upon seeing her dilated pupils, an unmistakable marker of desire. No woman had ever seen me without a shirt on, so I had no previous guidelines in regards to what to expect now that my shirt was on the floor. Her mind was silent as ever when her tongue quickly grazed her lower lip. Without a word, her hands stretched out once more, this time to touch me directly. My muscles clenched instantly, but not in aversion - quite the opposite of that. This simple touch made my head spiral, filling me up with pure joy and making my cock twitch uncomfortably in the tight space of my jeans.

She moved further, tracing small lines and circles over my midriff, then over my chest - lingering there for a deliciously long while - and stopping once she reached my shoulders. By the time her touches had stopped, I was dangerously close to heaving and in desperate need for more. The delicate outline of her bra was still peeking at me through her blouse, tempting me more and more with each passing second. Mindful of her plea to take things slowly, I clutched the fabric of her blouse and asked:

"Would it be all right if I got you out of this?"

Her enthusiastic bob did the answering for her, and it was everything I needed. With the hem between my fingers, I lifted her blouse, watching hungrily as her body was revealing itself to me: the taut skin of her abdomen, the dainty curves of her waist, then - so help me God - her chest. The black bra contrasted exquisitely with the milkiness of her skin, but it was what hid underneath that bra that truly got my attention: her breasts, round and a size I had instantly decided I loved, brimming with veins underneath the surface. Swallowing the ridiculous excess of venom, I threw her blouse on the floor and leaned over her, to be closer to this new discovery.

Right as I was getting ready to plant a first kiss inside her cleavage, she pulled my hair, alerting me that she wanted me further up. I complied immediately, confused, but intrigued. I didn't get the chance to ask what was wrong; she reached out to kiss me - a strange desperation seeping in - straddling me with her thighs and lifting her pelvis to meet my hardness. The sudden contact made me groan with pleasure, and I didn't hesitate to buck my hips forward, grinding my erection right between her legs, showing her the extent of her effect on me.

It was getting harder and harder for my vampire instincts not to overlap with the more human ones and cause me to slip sooner than intended. I had to part from the kiss once again when a new wave of venom flooded my mouth. In exchange, my lips started exploring other parts of Bella - her earlobe, her clavicle, her shoulder - as I listened to her small gasps and whimpers. There was so much to discover and I was only getting started.

Soon enough, my attention was back to her breasts. They were pure light and I was a helpless moth, attracted to them in the most hopeless way imaginable. This time, she didn't pull me up when my lips touched the delicate valley of her cleavage, nor when I dared to move my act of reconnoitering at the very edge of her bra, feeling her pulse's maddening pace. I had not even realized that at some point during all this, my hands had found her breasts - all of a sudden, I was kneading their magnificent flesh and I was feeling more alive than ever.

But the presence of her bra was making my mission of revering her much harder. It had to go - and with that in mind, I slid my hands underneath her back, finding the bra closure. While I had never had to do this until now, I realized it wasn't such a difficult task; the hook and eye system was pleasantly intuitive, so it didn't take longer than three seconds to unhook her bra and discard it on the floor. And there they were: uncovered by unnecessary garments, Bella's breasts were a paragon of art. They might as well have been sculpted by Michelangelo himself, they were _that_ flawless.

"I'm sorry, they're not..." her voice pulled me from my reverie, making me realize that I had been staring for quite a while. "I mean I know they're not-"

"I don't even know what you're trying to say, they're absolutely perfect."

Not wasting more time, I rushed back to kissing them - this time, with nothing getting in my way. I trailed their graceful contour a few times, before settling on a freshly uncovered part: her nipples. Small and rosy, they demanded to be taken care of, and I could only oblige their unspoken spell. Tasting them for the first time sent me spiralling in a frenzy; while faint, I could make out the particular bouquet of the blood that was causing them to engorge. It took everything in me not to bite right then. In a bid to curb my appetite, I stopped and simply went back to kissing her lips, allowing my hands to do what my lips couldn't.

A very small part of me was begging me to just resist the temptation that her blood posed and keep my more shameful needs to myself. This way, I could stand a chance to savour Bella like this more than once. I could talk to her again - after all, the conversation we shared up until the desire that had been flowing between me and her overtook us had been the best I had had in decades. I could maybe take her out on another walk. Maybe make love to her several times, if she wanted me to.

But her fragrance drowned out my fragile reason, reminding me that there was no escape - not for me, not for her.

"Fuck," I grunted, feeling her fingers tracing dangerous patterns on my back. "I want you so badly..."

"I want you too," she whispered.

"Then let me see you, Bella, _all_ of you."

She didn't need a translation for that particular plea. Her irregular breathing accompanied me as I unzipped her jeans and started pulling the denim off her hips, revealing her light blue cotton underwear. I was paralyzed in front of this new sight, realizing that close to the apex of her thighs, the fabric seemed darker in colour. I might have lacked experience - surely, the books I had read and the minds I had heard could not count as experience - but I was fully aware of the reason her underwear had an uneven colour: she was wet. Soaking. For me. And this particular scent was just as intoxicating as that of her blood.

Before I knew it, I was rolling down the last garment off her body, eager to see what hid beyond it. Bella raised her hips slightly, to allow me to get rid of it properly, but to my surprise, kept her legs shut once I managed to undress her fully. My mind immediately started rolling out tens of possible scenarios per second, none of them good.

"Is something wrong?" I checked, before my imagination could take me further.

"Just… a little nervous."

"How so?"

"Aren't all girls nervous to be seen like this for the first time?"

"How should I know? You're my first."

 _And most likely last_ , I completed in my head. Something seemed to change in her eyes, along with my gentle reminder - maybe she realized that I had no expectations, or maybe she understood that the mere concept of expectations was absolute madness when it came to me and her. After all, neither of us would have expected to end up on a boat by the shore of the Salish Sea, caught in this reckless waltz.

"I can stop, Bella. If you want me to."

"No, just keep going."

"Sure?"

"Positive."

Not wanting to take anything more than she was willing to give, I leaned down over her, making myself comfortable between her legs. The heat emanating from her body seemed even stronger now that her clothes were gone, turning my reason to ambers. I wanted to bury my face in that heat.

"Take your clothes off too," she whispered.

Without thinking twice about her request, I complied. I got off the bed, to make my mission of taking off my jeans and boxers easier. As I did that, making sure that no movement of mine was too fast for her eyes, Bella watched me with curious eyes. Before I knew it, I was completely nude in front of her. The knowledge that no one had seen me like this before did nothing to lull my petulance - if anything, it only stirred it further. I burned to get even a tiny peek inside Bella's mind. Was she enjoying the view? Was she blazing with the same ardour as me?

I got back on the bed, positioning myself on my knees - and that was the exact moment that she decided to open her legs, revealing herself in a way that made me believe that Heaven actually existed. She was glistening in the dim light, a sight paradoxically both pure and carnal. The wetness glazing her delectably pink folds was shamelessly disclosing her needs. All of a sudden, I found myself wondering if all that sap would taste as good as her blood.

 _Fuck, focus_.

"You're so beautiful," I said, unable to look away.

Perhaps without realizing, her legs twitched, opening up a little more. Who was I to decline such an offer?

My right hand traced an eager path from her waist to her hip, from her hip to her knee, from her knee to the delicate apex of her thigh, close to what must have been the most inviting place in the world. For a few unending moments, the damned hunger for her blood remained silent long enough to let me savour this moment in peace. Ever so gently, my fingers grazed along her slit, discovering the new texture of her hot flesh and getting coated in her liquids along the way. I was spellbound by how soft she felt here; my cock spasmed in anticipation as I allowed myself to imagine how gratifying it would feel to sink inside her.

It seemed that my process of exploring was having positive effects on Bella - her body was trembling, her breathing pattern was a mess. But beyond that, her blood was boiling underneath the surface, as a reminder of the thing I wanted most from her. Fighting the urge further, I tried to concentrate solely on what I was doing. On the more-understandable thirst. On the demanding lust hovering over us. On this Heaven ablaze.

"I love how wet you are," I murmured, not quite expecting a response.

"You're the reason why," she gasped, taking me by surprise.

My index finger searched, until it found what it wanted - small and delicate, Bella's most sensitive bundle of nerves would've been so easy to miss if she hadn't moaned so loudly and grabbed the sheets underneath us in her fists right as I was going over it. The sound took me aback and I knew instantly that I needed to hear it again. I started stroking her clitoris with more resolve, enjoying the way this simple touch seemed to send her into a frenzy.

I ached to touch and kiss her breasts again, but I feared that my self-control was not strong enough to allow me to do so many things at once without crumbling underneath the force of my monstrous craving. I wanted to resist the latter - not fully, but at least long enough to be able to fuck the living hell out of Bella without interrupting myself.

My movements grew more desperate, as I was holding on with everything I had to my better judgement. Bella's thighs clenched on my hips and she pulled me down with what I could guess was her full force, so that our lips could meet. The sounds she was making got lost inside our kiss, reverberating through my chest and making me groan in return. I kept my pace, rubbing her clitoris in small circles, listening to her heart and praying that I was on the right track.

When one particular moan of hers echoed stronger than any others, accompanied by one long, violent spasm of her body and by her getting even wetter under my touch, I almost lost it.

I was almost sure of what had just happened, but I still had to check:

"Bella, did you just…?"

"I did," she said breathlessly, pulling away. "Oh, God, I did, wow..."

I smiled, drunk on her delight, and kept moving, hopeful that I could make that small wonder happen again. But as my hand was getting busy between her legs, Bella had other plans. I felt her palms on my chest, drawing pleasurable patterns on my skin. Then lower, on my stomach. Then lower, grazing my hip bones. Then lower, to the very base of my shaft, where a wild patch of hair welcomed her. My erection tensed up in anticipation.

With careful movements, Bella grabbed my cock in her hand and everything else disappeared. Nothing else existed but this excruciatingly pleasant sensation. Her hand felt searingly hot as it went up my length, going over the veins that had remained frozen for almost a century, discovering me in a way that nobody else would. Her enthusiastic pulse resounded in my member, and there was nothing I could do but growl.

"I like how you feel," she offered softly.

I forgot whatever it was that I wanted to say when she reached my tip, rubbing the head of my penis in her palm. It was clear to me that I would not need a lot of that to explode. I could no longer concentrate properly on squeezing a second orgasm out of her, for I wanted my first so badly.

"But there's one problem," she added.

I could not believe my ears when I stuttered, asking her 'what?". Her voice seemed slightly embarrassed when she responded:

"I don't know how you'll… uhm, you know, fit."

My brain almost suffered a short circuit at the implication of her words. Making an effort to move away from her lips, so that I could see her eyes, I said:

"Don't be afraid, I'll be gentle."

She pulled me back in, once again setting me on fire. Her hand kept caressing me, stroking me, and I wanted her to go on, but at the same time I had no idea how long I could last if she kept doing that. Seeking some room to think clearly, I grabbed her skillfully-moving hand and the hand that she had entangled in my hair and pinned them down on the mattress, on either side of her head, keeping her wrists locked in my palms. The tempo of her throbbing veins prompted my thirst to take a front seat once again - and just like that, my lips were no longer safe being anywhere near hers, so I simply retreated, to look at her.

Bella's eyes were warm and full of unspoken invitations. As I gazed inside their depths, an unexpected peace washed over me. For a very short while, I felt hope - hope that this night could end on good terms for both of us. If I could just keep the image of those kind eyes in my mind long enough to keep my selfishness to myself… maybe she could live. Maybe I could control myself. Maybe this didn't have to be our only night together. And if my cock hadn't been pulsing with need inches away from her wet folds, I would have been tempted to stare longer into the melted chocolate abyss, but this task was becoming increasingly hard.

"Bella, if I hurt you-"

"I'll tell you," she jumped in before I could finish what I wanted to say.

I let go of her wrists, so that I could take her face in my hands. Her fragrance was too much, too good, too close, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

"I'm so glad I've found you," I murmured, before surrendering once more to the power of her lips when she pulled down on my hair, to get me back to her level.

I bucked my hips forward, until the tip of my shaft grazed gently against her slit. I couldn't suppress my groan upon being caught in this spectacular connection. Moving slowly, I felt her wetness coating me.

"Do it, please," she managed over my lips.

With her blessing, I allowed myself to continue, pushing between her small folds and being met with resistance. I backed down, before trying once again. This time, the resistance weakened slightly, making me confident enough to keep going. Her folds opened up more, making room for me, encouraging me to continue. Ever so slowly, I kept pushing, feeling the wet warmth enveloping me.

And just like that, I was inside Bella and I was instantly hit with a powerful revelation: we were made for this. Her short existence, her life in Forks, her friend's party, her exasperatingly good flavour; my burdening decades spent without a purpose, my steps guiding me to one particular nightclub, my own carnal demands, my demonic thirst; the inescapable magnetism that had brought us together - they had all intermingled to bring us to this exact moment in space and time: the two of us, alone on a boat, lost inside one another.

She let out a long moan and I had no idea if it meant pleasure or pain.

"Are you all right, dear?" I checked.

"It hurts a little," she admitted. "But you feel amazing."

Just as she was muttering the words, I noticed it: the freshly-spilled blood tinging the air with its potent, redolent notes. There wasn't much of it and it was mixed with the fluids of her arousal, but it was enough to wake the monster fully. I groaned, forgetting all about gentleness as soon as the venom flooded my mouth. Moving my mouth to her neck, I pushed myself deeper still, until there was no more room to go further.

"Oh, God!"

Her voice didn't necessarily sound pained, just shocked. So much for taking things slow. I retreated a few inches, only to push with more resolve the second time around, feeling the heavenly liquids pool at the base of my cock.

"Fuck, you're tight," I managed between my teeth, putting my every thought into not biting her. Not now.

Her hands found their way to my back and I felt her nails trying to dig in, with no success. She whispered my name and there was no other sound that could bring me to my knees like that. I started moving with more confidence, feeling her walls clamping around me, as if to welcome me. Our union was beyond anything I had ever felt in a hundred years. It was summer and winter, existing in perfect symbiosis. The Big Bang melting into the Big Crunch and giving birth to an entirely new universe.

Where had this girl been my entire life?

Thrusting in and out of her felt natural, as if I had been born to do this. The friction caused the flames in my core to reach into my veins, swathing me with heat and bringing me closer to the edge of the void. I wanted to thank every deity that had led me to this perfect moment. But since I couldn't, I simply resigned myself to calling Bella's name out loud again and again, telling her how divine she felt, how I loved loving her, how this was the best day in my entire existence. Was there no end for this rapture?

Bella seemed to enjoy it too - after all, her whispers of 'faster' and 'yes, yes, yes' had to mean something good. She kept moving her hips in tandem with mine, raising them to meet my erratic thrusts, and I had no idea how either of us knew what we were doing, but I could have gladly spent days doing just that, nothing more, if that possibility even existed.

Our ever-accelerating pace made me realize that I was as good as finished.

"I'm close, Bella, I'm right there…" I couldn't even recognize my voice when I opened my mouth - it was rough and nothing like what I usually sounded like.

"Yes… oh, my… just… don't come inside…"

Not that such things mattered, given the incompatibility between our species, but I was going to listen to her regardless. I kept pushing until, with a grunt, I knew I had hit the point of no return. My muscles started trembling beyond my control, the electricity in my veins became too much to handle and I left the warm comfort of Bella's body, grabbing my cock tightly right when the first stream of venom spurted out. It landed right on her belly, making her moan with surprise. The second wave landed higher up, closer to her breasts. I rubbed myself back and forth, trying to comprehend this height of supreme pleasure, riding the powerful after-waves of my climax, watching as the last drops of my venom drizzled down her body, instantly painting the most erotic sight seen by man.

I didn't realize I was muttering her name like a prayer, over and over again, until her hand found mine and squeezed it, bringing me down to Earth slowly. But as I was coming down, I realized it: the scent of blood coming from between her thighs was even stronger now. I made the mistake of looking down, and my world came crashing down at the sight. The blood trickling between her wet folds looked appetizing in ways I had not even expected. Coupled with the blood boiling underneath her skin, it made me forget about everything else: first times, loving embraces, good intentions.

Just as I was coming down from the high, the monster came back from the pits of my conscience, hungrier than ever. And when he resurfaced, there was no pushing him back. It was just him and Bella on this boat.

Leaving behind all attempts of keeping up a human speed, I pinned her wrists above her head with one hand, while I thrust three fingers inside her with the other. She groaned and I retreated, marveling in awe at the reddish liquids that were now glazing my fingers. Everything about that sight invited me in: the scent, the colour, the forbidden nature of the act. Unable to resist, I slipped them in my mouth, purring when the taste hit my tastebuds. Nothing could come close to the storm of pure ecstasy battering my senses now - this was even better than whatever it was that I had imagined. Sweeter, purer. Maddening and narcotic. Unique, like her.

This was it. The worst decision of my life. The best decision of my life.

Bella barely had time to say anything when I launched at her - the last thing I had seen were her eyes, half-opened and confused, trying to comprehend the hell unraveling in front of her. My teeth sunk mercilessly in her carotid, piercing her translucent skin and all the soft layers underneath. An entire waterfall of blood started flowing in my mouth, blessing me and damning me all the same.

I heard her scream my name. I couldn't care less.

A slave to this new bliss, I allowed myself to swallow; wave after wave, her blood washed down my tongue, chasing away the flames in my parched throat and showing me that God existed. He had to exist, because this liquid was no random occurrence. It was an act of creation, the masterpiece of the most skilled designer. And it had been made specifically for me, to sing inside my veins as it left her body in a painful song.

In my frenzy, I could barely remember anything that had come before Bella. It was as if I had never truly fed, not until her. She tasted like undiluted Paradise and life in bloom. And the texture of her sap… delicate, yet thick; satin-like, yet dense. Steaming and unadulterated by any kind of substance, it was unmistakably _her_ , through and through. My moans of delight intermingled with her hollers of agony, making up a sinister spectacle. But it didn't matter - if this was Inferno, I wanted all of it.

As I was feeding, I couldn't help but admit that people would miss her - it wasn't hard to tell after the short amount of time I had spent in her presence. Hell, _I_ would miss her and we had barely had enough time to know each other properly. But I couldn't bring myself to regret what I was doing. I was allowed to be selfish for _once_. The fact that I was cursed beyond hope didn't have to mean that I was allowed no joys at all. I owed nothing to anyone. And there was no greater joy in this world than drinking the most hypnotic blood that ever existed.

Bella would never complain about the green trees of Forks again. She would never become an intern in Olympia. She would never get to have cookie dough ice cream again. She would never get to meet a boy, fall in love and get married. Her parents would never see those chocolate eyes again. Whatever the universe had prepared for her, it was no longer available, now that her life was slowly seeping out of her and into me. It might have been cruel, but I couldn't be sure - after all, my better judgement had left long ago.

Isabella Swan never deserved this. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time could have dire consequences for her weak species. Maybe her afterlife would be kinder to her. Maybe she would forget all about the pain that one lucky monster had caused her on a warm July night. Maybe angels were already waiting for her to show up, silently urging me to hurry up, so that she wouldn't have to endure this torment anymore.

As I kept drinking, trying to tune out her screams, I could only hope that the gates of Heaven were already open for her, so that she wouldn't have to look for peace for too long after breathing her last breath.

Even the monster knew that she deserved that much.

* * *

**In the end, Edward's thirst won. Is it sad? Yes, but it was also quite inevitable, considering everything.**

**I would absolutely LOVE to read your thoughts on this chapter! Your reviews not only make my day, but they are also like gasoline for my creative fire.**

**So do you think Edward is going to regret this decision?**

**Will he want to stop?**

**_Can_ he even stop?**

**I cannot wait to see what you think and, of course, respond to everyone :).**

**Stay safe and happy, guys!**


	4. Dante's Inferno

**Words will never be enough to express how thankful I am to each and every one of you: for giving this story a chance, despite its darkness, for taking the time to read, for leaving so many encouraging reviews! I am sending all my love your way!**

**Now... our thirsty Edward was having quite a feast last chapter, so let's see what he is up to now.**

* * *

If before my body was burning, now everything felt perfectly right - as if the planets had aligned specifically to show me that this half-life I was living had its perks. There was no more fire, no more excess of venom in my mouth, just sheer elation and satisfaction. If the apocalypse came, I would have died a happy man. I never wanted to stop. And truly, I couldn't find a good enough reason to stop myself from draining the girl in my arms, who was growing weaker and weaker with each passing second.

But things rarely went the way I wanted them to, so when I heard the far-away thoughts of a man questioning the horrific sounds coming from the boat, I knew I had fucked up. He was no policeman, no coast guard, but he didn't have to be. Having a witness was the last thing I needed, whoever he was.

I had to act quickly, but my body was not too eager to cooperate. Instead of retreating, I dug my teeth deeper still, searching for more blood. Hot and velvety, the liquid gushed in my mouth and I swallowed it in a rush, trying to get as much as possible in a single gulp. But the thoughts grew closer, as the wandering man was trying to decipher the meaning behind the wretched cries.

My time was running out.

Trying to act quickly, while also preserving the remains of my meal, I retracted my teeth from her neck and kept my palm pressed tightly against the wound as I rummaged through the clothes we had thrown near the bed. I improvised a tourniquet for her wound using the elastic of my boxers, hoping that it could be enough to keep the blood inside for as long as I needed to start this damned boat and get the hell away from here. As soon as I had the tourniquet in place, I rushed to cover her mouth with the sleeve of her own blouse, so that her sounds would be muffled - this felt wrong in every way and I mentally cursed myself for even doing it, but it was necessary for my mission.

Once I was finished with this, I rushed to dress myself, cleaning the blood around my mouth and heading to the top deck. The thoughts of the questioning man were going back and forth between the sounds he had heard and whether he should go home or not - if I had to guess, I would have said that he was a little inebriated, but it was hard to tell from afar. Instead of contemplating his state of soberness any longer, I hurried to the back of the boat, untangling the heavy-duty chain that held the boat in place, freeing it from the pylon it had been wrapped around and feeling thankful for the lack of night-shifts within the marina security department. I let the chain fall on the deck, watching as the soft waves made the boat float away from the shore, even if just by a few feet.

Wasting no time, I ran to the front part of the boat, where the helm awaited. At first glance, I realized that the ship didn't benefit from keyless ignition. I searched for the keys in the chart table, where most skippers left theirs, but there was nothing there other than a few moldy butts of cigarettes. With the thoughts of the curious man growing closer, I rummaged through the engine panel - and there they were, those damned keys. It took a couple of tries before the motor fully came alive, but once it started, I knew there was no going back.

By the time the man was stepping on the dock of the harbour, I was already half a mile away from the shore, floating towards the north. He scoured the horizon until he spotted my boat. Luckily, his mind - which I was now convinced it was affected by alcohol - didn't come with any outlandish explanations. He blamed the weird sounds on the seagulls that were flying alongside the shore line. Once I knew my boat was no longer in his visual field, I stopped the motor and hurried back to the lower deck.

No more than five minutes had passed since I had left Bella alone, yet it felt as if I had spent an eternity without my teeth buried in her neck.

She was laying in the exact same spot, naked and covered in the liquids of my orgasm, but the blanket underneath her was now wet with some of the blood that had spilled from underneath the tourniquet. I dashed towards her, irritated by the waste. Her eyes were stuck on the ceiling, wide and lost, while her agonizing wailing was weakened by the fabric in her mouth. Pulling the fabric away and climbing back on top of her, I felt as if I was a demon whose sole purpose was to roam back and forth between all the circles of the Inferno.

The circle of Gluttony called to me, begging me to get back to feasting on this innocent human without wasting more precious time, while the circle of Lust kept me sinfully aroused throughout all this ordeal. Greed kept me grounded, filling my mind with one single thought on repeat as I was watching my prey: _mine, mine, mine_. But I knew that Treachery was where I truly belonged, for I was nothing more than a betraying Judas for the way I had lured this angel on this boat to love her with as much tenderness as I was capable of, only to consume her blood after.

My eyes were stinging, as if they were on fire, when I leaned down over Bella, to remove the feeble elastic tourniquet and sink my teeth inside her throat once again. I was surprised to hear her scream just as loudly as the first time - but this time, she didn't call out my name. The first gulp of seraphic liquid rolled down my throat in a delectable cascade, washing away my worries.

She was life.

Death.

Concupiscence.

All wrapped into one.

But if before her blood was liquid ambrosia in my mouth, now I could not deny the fact that something had changed. This liquor from the Gods seemed oddly diluted now. I tried drawing out more from the shredded veins, trying to understand what had changed in the five minutes I had left her alone. Bella protested with more half-screams and further wriggling, but I pinned her wrists back down above her head, so that she wouldn't distract me.

Still, something was off. There was a strange, unexplainable aftertaste that had seeped inside the otherwise delirious flavour. Glacial, sweet and inhuman - these undertones had not been there when we were still bound to the shore. I knew for a fact that she had been completely sober, not the faintest amount of a foreign substance desecrating her sap, from the first moment my nose picked up her scent in the club. But as I drank more, the undertones would not let up, they would only come back stronger with each sip, as my own personal form of torture.

Slower than the waves moving the ship a few inches every minute, I began to understand.

It wasn't Bella's blood that had changed - or at least not by itself. Something far more sinister and a thousand shades worse than my most unfortunate nightmares had happened while I was busy starting the motor and getting as far away as possible from the pier: my venom started infiltrating in her veins, in an abominable marriage of our species. This was why she was still fighting for her life underneath me. Still breathing, not even close to what should have been her untimely end.

My instincts fought to finalize the mess I had created. I started drinking with more resolve, trying to get it all out: the blood, the blasphemous venom, my mistakes. But my elan meant nothing to the cruel harpy that watched over my existence. No matter how much I was taking out, it was too late, for I had already planted enough in, making it all too easy for my efforts to be reduced to nothingness.

Five minutes. This was all it had taken for me to fail miserably. All it had taken to satisfy the monster and doom this girl for eternity.

As I was watching life draining out of Isabella and immortality seeping in beyond my control, I dared to ponder over my last memories of being human for the first time in decades.

* * *

When the spring of 1918 started, I had everything planned: I would finish school and I would join the army soon after that. There was just one more year of attending classes at Wheaton Academy, during which I had all the time in the world to convince my mother that I could and I would fight in the war, as any young man should for the honour of his country.

I had grown accustomed to my father's lengthy business trips. There had been a time when I would cry on and off for hours on end whenever he left, but that time was long gone. The last time I had truly had a good cry about my father leaving I was still a child, although it was hard to remember my exact age. As time went on, I had grown to appreciate the time spent alone with my mother more than anything. She used to go out of her way to make me happy in his absence, by baking so many trays of cookies that we had to share them with the neighbours, by playing chess and letting me win every time, by accompanying my piano playing with her warm alto voice.

When my father left in April for New York, I felt oddly relieved. I could not understand fully the reason behind my mother's constant frowns back then. We had heard of the new disease that had made its way to the States, of course. It was unavoidable, since Health Commissioner Dr. John Dill Robertson made every newspaper headline with his discourse of the fast-growing epidemic. He used to go on and on about people having to cover their mouths whenever they sneezed, about kisses being discouraged, about the importance of avoiding nightlife and whatnot. The constant talk about the outbreak growing stronger had made my mother almost numb, up to the point in which she had decided to stop buying newspapers altogether, just to avoid the information-bombing.

But my father was a strong man. Not even the most frightening colds and cases of flu had defeated him, so I was convinced that the chances of him being affected by the new bug were slim to none. I was more worried by his train derailing off the tracks than anything else. In the end, none of that mattered, of course. My mother and I had received the news of his death a month later, via a cold telegram sent by his assistant in New York. We didn't even know he had fallen sick.

It was then that my mother had started buying newspapers again and listening to Robertson.

There weren't many memories attached to the suffering that had followed. I remembered through a haze of human memories, the image of my mother sewing cloth masks on a daily basis, handing them to me whenever I had to go to school or to the farmer's market. And for a while, it had been enough. But when the autumn fell and the second wave of the Spanish flu came, hitting the Great Lakes Naval Training Station, which was only a couple of blocks away from us, no amount of masks could have saved us.

I never knew how, since my mother rarely left the house, but she got infected, the virus changing the once lively woman into a febrile coughing mess in a matter of days. It wasn't long until the disease spread to me, leaving me bed-ridden with pneumonia and unable to care for my mother. We both ended up in the hospital that was closest to our home, in a room we were sharing with twenty other people.

Then the fever came, and the memories got even foggier.

I couldn't remember the day my mother's lungs filled with blood, making her suffocate in her sleep. There were only a few bits and pieces from my last days that I could remember, thanks to my fevered state. The sour smell of aspirin. The feeling of wet sheets clinging to my hot skin at night. The faceless nurses injecting my bruised forearm with quinine several times a day. The hallucinations haunting me each time I dozed off. The cough that would never end.

And through all the fog, _him_. As the years had passed, I had grown accustomed to avoiding his name. It helped me when it came to keeping the ties cut for good. These particular memories were a little clearer, since long ago I got the chance of experiencing them through his eyes. My mother's dying wish had been for him to save me, whatever the cost. I never knew whether she had seen through his charade enough to understand that he was not like us or if it had only been the disease doing the talking for her - that was the secret she had taken with her to the grave. Nevertheless, her wish had been granted.

I had no personal memory of being taken off from the hospital bed and being brought into the doctor's house. I was with one foot in the grave at that point anyway. But there was one thing in particular that I could remember clearly: his teeth in my throat, sending a fire through me that overcame everything else: the fever, the hallucinations, the ache, the delirium. In that moment, everything else went away, making room for something worse than the plague itself.

I didn't know it then, but I would remember the flames for the rest of my days.

Scorching, infernal, burning like a million Suns in my veins, engulfing my skin and my viscera. I had never felt pain since then, but I didn't have to - what I felt during the three days it had taken my body to accept all the venom had been enough to last me for a lifetime. I cried and screamed my way out of each new day, as if that could have chased the hurt away. Throughout this baptism of fire, my creator never left my side, not even once. I knew it, because I could feel him injecting me with morphine, in a bid to numb my senses, but also because he kept praying to God on my behalf.

But all things came to an end - even the conflagration that had taken all life out of me, leaving me cold and adamantine like a diamond. When I woke up, the only remaining flames were those in my throat, serving as a reminder of the monstrosity I had become, along with the acutely sharpened senses. My first words had come out on a rough and tortured tone:

"What have you done to me?"

"Forgive me, child. This was your mother's last wish before she passed. I know you are scared now, but I promise you this: you are safe. I am here with you. I will teach you everything."

And truthful to his words, the kind man became my mentor. And, for lack of a better word, also a better father than my own had ever been - at least for a while. He taught me how to hunt, how to keep my thirst to myself when I was among humans. He taught me that the thoughts I kept hearing were not an usual occurrence and that they were, in fact, a direct result of my gift.

Throughout all this, he never wavered - not when I raised my voice at him to tell him I could do it all on my own, nor when I decided to give him the silent treatment for having the nerve to curb my natural appetite for humans. He had made a commitment that went beyond my tantrums and his personal endurance. At times, I wondered how he could do it. It couldn't have been easy, especially with me giving him a hard time at every step of the way. But his mind was an open book to me, and that meant that no matter which secrets he might have had, I would have known them before he could get the chance to think of something else.

Eventually, I came to understand that my creator was simply a good man, through and through. No hidden motives, no unspoken grudges, no silently-boiling regrets. Had I been him, I would have left myself behind after a few days. After all, eternity was hard enough on its own, without bringing the encumbrance of real responsibilities to the table - but creating a vampire did not come without a price. Whoever ventured to spread the curse further was fully responsible for his decision. A mistake made by a newborn vampire could be enough reason for the law-makers of our species, the Volturi, to come after the newborn _and_ his creator. And they were not kind when it came to breaking laws - even unwritten ones, as it was the case for our world.

Perhaps this was the reason why there weren't that many vampires in the world. Not many of us sought being tied down by such a duty. Naturally, I had not even considered the idea of doing such a thing of myself. I liked being on my own - it kept me away from duties I was not interested in and it allowed me to have no ties that could prevent me from focusing on something other than my own burdens. The idea of having a companion was not one I was willing to entertain; the closest I had been to that was with Grace - and _that_ had ended terribly.

Yet here I was, staring at Bella as she writhed in pain, realizing that, whether I had planned for it or not, I was now stuck with her. She was _my_ responsibility now - but this was only the tip of the problem. Although I didn't really know her, I could guess that once she would wake up, she would want to distance herself from me as much as possible. Hell, she might even feel the need to make me pay for what I had done to her, rightfully so. And I really couldn't blame her for this. After all, I had taken everything she had from her in a matter of minutes, without even asking her if she was all right with it.

Still, it would have been downright suicidal to let a newborn on the loose in the world, with no supervision. If she was anything like what I had been when I woke up to this new half-life, she would want to butcher half the city just to bring a tiny semblance of relief to the hurt in her throat. Then it would only be a matter of time before the Volturi found us both.

 _No._ That was not an option.

If she could have the patience to let me guide her first steps into this new existence… maybe that could be enough. She didn't have to like me or even be friends with me for that to happen - although just the thought of that sent daggers in my heart. I could pick the prey for her, while showing her how to spot the evil from afar. I could repeat the lessons that _he_ had taught me, hoping that she would be receptive.

But how would I even get her to listen in the first place? Starting with 'I'm sorry, Bella, I've simply never met anyone like you in a hundred years and I just had to fuck you until you screamed my name and drink your blood immediately after - but because I'm an idiot, I also accidentally changed you into a vampire in the process; you understand though, right?' did not seem like a good way to break the ice.

As I was trying and failing to find reasonable explanations for my sins, I realized that I could not keep the crime scene as it was. At one point or another, we would need to leave the ship behind and venture on land. And when that would happen, no evidence could be left behind. It didn't take me long to find a tin trash can, a large flask of marine oil and a box that still had ten matches inside.

I burned everything, one by one: the elastic of my boxers that had acted as a tourniquet, the sheets underneath Bella, the pillow, until there were no more items impregnated with her blood left behind. As soon as I was finished with this, another realization hit me: she could not wake up like _this_ , naked and with dried patches of her own blood clinging to her skin. Full of reluctance, I lifted her in my arms. Her eyes were still wide open, piercing through me, and she protested with several cries to the sudden movement.

"Shhh, you're all right, you're not alone," I tried soothing her, as I was carrying her to the place where the scent of shampoo and limescale lingered in the air.

The bathroom of the boat was ridiculously small, with the toilet and the shower cabin being separated by twenty inches at most. I reached out with one hand to see if the shower was at least functional. I was relieved when water spurted out of the shower head - it had little to no pressure, and the stream was thin and tepid, but I could work with that. Soon enough, I realized that there was no way I could clean Bella without making a mess in the entire bathroom, since there was no tub to make my mission easier.

Trying not to think too much about it, I removed my own clothes and got inside the cabin with her. With great care, I let her down, making sure to keep her standing up straight with my arms. The water engulfed us in its embrace, making me pull Bella to my chest out of instinct. She felt so fragile and I had no right to be here with her now. I couldn't dare look down at her body, for I knew too well what that sight could do to me. The feeling of her warm curves moulding to the sharp planes of my body was enough to fill my head with the unbearably potent human lust I had experienced not so long ago.

But I couldn't truly focus on this for too long - her whining noises were enough to keep my head above water, where reason could still be my friend.

I washed Bella carefully, making sure to clean her hair, her body, her face, watching as the water rolled down the drain in rose-coloured streams, carrying her bewildering blood far away from me. When we were finished, there were no more remains of our night together on her: not the blood, nor the arousal that had painted her thighs wet. But if I brushed the hair off her shoulder, the mark my teeth had left in her flesh was unavoidable: scarlet red and with the tissues still shredded, but slowly healing as my venom rustled through her veins.

Back to the now-empty bed, I made sure to dress both of ourselves up, closing my eyes just so that I could stop my mind from slipping and getting excited by her naked form again. I had to resign myself to the fact that I would never see her like this from this point forward. Had I been more careful, I might have had the chance to, but that ship had sailed the exact moment my teeth got lost in her carotid. I understood perfectly why there were no more chances for me and her to be together in that way - or any other way - ever again; yet in my understanding, I couldn't help but feel completely broken.

The sunrise found me on the floor, with my face hidden in my hands, listening to Bella's despaired cries coming from the bed. There wasn't much I could do to comfort her. I had no morphine on hand, but not even that would have been enough to soothe her. I tried holding her in my arms a few times and talking to her - that helped for a while, until my mind sent me spiraling once again, reminding me that I had no claim on this girl I had hurt, no right to hold her anywhere near me. My tortured string of thoughts got interrupted when a new sound filled the air: the ringtone of her phone, blaring from the pits of her purse and making me realize that I had most definitely not thought everything through. Taking it out of her purse, I saw one ominous word lighting up the screen: 'Dad'.

 _Fuck_.

I stared at the device, my brain going through a dozen scenarios per second. I could answer and tell him I am part of the staff at the hotel where she had slept at, explaining to him that his daughter had forgotten her phone - but then what? Or I could reject the call and send him a text on Bella's behalf, but that didn't feel right. Maybe I could answer and tell him that I was a friend of hers; but then again, I had read enough minds to know the immediate conclusion the man would draw.

In the end, I did none of that. The phone stopped ringing before I got the chance to put any plan into motion. If only that was the last time it rang. As sunlight replaced the morning fog, Bella's father kept calling her. And he continued to do so until late afternoon. When he had called enough times without receiving an answer, he resorted to sending texts:

' _Bells, I just need to know you're okay._ '

' _I am getting worried, kid. It's not like you to offer no explanations._ '

' _Jessica's and Angela's parents said that their girls arrived this morning. Why weren't you with them?_ '

' _They said you were supposed to take the midnight train to Forks and be home last night?!_ '

' _This is it. Screw the protocols, I am reporting you as a missing person. I'm not taking any risks with this._ '

I didn't get it at first, but then it slowly clicked. _Screw the protocols_. Most people had to wait at least a day before they could report a missing person. There were not many ways around this rule. Just a few people could afford to 'screw the protocols'. And that was when it hit me: Bella's father was a police officer.

Soon after this new understanding dawned on me, I realized that my hand had clenched the small gadget so tightly that I had broken it down in several pieces. With the damage already done, I picked up the pieces, one by one, and went to the bathroom. Pulverizing them between my fingers, I let the remains fall in the toilet and flushed them down.

Back in the room where Bella was, I started to understand the ramifications of my actions better. My mistake was pricier than I had thought: not only did it cost this girl's humanity, but also her loved ones' peace. I could avoid the police - I had done it in the past, when I had killed a prolific European leader who used to take several trips to Thailand, where he was the beneficiary of the horrendous industry of child prostitution. But avoiding the police wouldn't have done her loved ones any favours; they would still search for her, they would still mourn in silence as more time would pass without her showing up.

Lost in thoughts, I had barely noticed the fact that Bella's sounds had grown a little weaker and her squirming had calmed down a bit. Her eyes were now closed and she was trembling, a continuous shaky moan coming out from her parted lips. Unable to leave her on her own any longer, I kneeled down near the bed, taking her hand in mine, starting to talk to her once again.

That was where I had remained for the next two days, taking in every new change: the tissues of her wound healing, her heartbeat becoming restless as her body was trying to fight off the transformation, her blood becoming less and less fragrant as it got replaced by my venom. There were other changes too - more subtle, but unavoidable. The beautiful unevenness of her lips disappeared, making room for more plumpness. The last remains of her blush disappeared, her skin becoming a milky, creamy canvas. Unexpectedly, Bella was even more beautiful now - it was almost unfair, given how mind-blowingly alluring she already was.

When the song of her heart became more delicate, I knew there was not much time left. Watching Bella slowly becoming a new being, made me realize I was not alone in this Inferno. I might have been stuck wandering between Lust and Greed and Gluttony and Treachery for the rest of my days - yet in my wandering, I had brought an innocent soul down. Bella was too good to know the misery of these circles of Hell, of course. But while she had not been sinful, she had unknowingly condemned herself to an ill-timed death when she accepted my invitation in the train station, that no God could have deemed honourable.

And for that, she would forever be doomed to be stuck in the very first circle of the Inferno, where virtuous pagans with no vicious faults roamed: Limbo. And if I was lucky enough, she would accept me there with her. At least until she was ready to be on her own. At least until I was ready to let her go.

I was expecting many things when Bella finally opened her eyes: for her to scream at me for doing this to her, for her to rightfully slap me in the face for sentencing her to an existence filled with bloodlust without her consent, for her to storm out as soon as she realized who was standing by her bed. But when her newly-scarlet eyes - still hiding the same unspoken kindness in their depths, despite the colour - met mine for the first time, there was no trace of anger in them.

She was frowning, looking at me without saying anything. I tried guessing the reason behind her frown, but with her mind being just as much of a secret as before, I had no success. Was she trying to calculate her next move? Was she trying to find a polite way to tell me to go to hell? Luckily for me, she decided to speak first - the sound of her new voice resembling delicate windchimes in a storm more than anything else. But the words she started muttering were far from anything I had imagined she would say in these past few days:

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

Shock.

Relief.

Confusion.

More relief.

Awe.

Gratefulness.

And above all, hope.

Several emotions washed over me as a new realization was sinking in: I was a complete stranger to Bella. For whatever reason, my face meant nothing to her. She had no memory of me being her lover, nor of me being her executioner - if she had, I was convinced she wouldn't have been as peaceful. Seeing the door to my redemption being cracked open, I had no qualms about slipping right through it. I uttered the next words as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do:

"My name is Edward Masen. I've found you like this, Miss."

She bit her lip, scouring her surroundings, taking everything in with her new, sharpened senses, still unaware of the magnitude of what had happened to her.

 _Welcome to Limbo, Isabella Swan_.

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**And so it begins :)...**

**I would love nothing more than to know what you've thought about this chapter. Nothing makes my day quite like your reviews do! And responding to them is my favourite thing.**

**Were you hoping for Edward to change Bella because he wanted to, not because he got interrupted?**

**What do you think Bella's reaction to finding out what she is will be?**

**Would you have told the truth to her when she woke up, had you been in his shoes?**

**So excited to know your thoughts!**

**See you next Sunday - until then, stay safe and happy!**


	5. Out of the Frying Pan

**A big warm hug for all of you who are following this story! You're simply the best for taking the time to read and share your thoughts - I just want you to know how much I appreciate you all!**

**Now it's time to see how Edward handles this partially-amnesiac vampire Bella :).**

* * *

I couldn't remember the last time I had been granted the chance for a do-over. A creature like me didn't deserve many chances like this, if any - rightfully so. But the reason behind this particular fortuity seemed too sinister to be worth any gratefulness on my part. Deep down, everything started to make sense: I had scarred Bella so terribly, tormented her so deeply in her last moments of being human, that her mind must have simply erased the memory of the monster completely, in a bid to preserve her sanity. Or maybe there was some evil seraph watching over me, who had decided that I somehow deserved a second chance with this angel.

The first theory made more sense. The last few moments Bella had lived as a human had been filled with the highest pleasure imaginable. She had trusted me all the way, feeling safe even if she really shouldn't have felt so. Betraying that trust in such a violent, brutal, vicious manner, right as she was riding the greatest heights of her rapture, must have triggered something in the way her brain had perceived the flames of the transformation - and, in the process, it also brought me serendipity.

But this serendipity was a mirage and nothing more, because if these walls could talk, I would be a dead man.

Bella rose up on her elbows, looking around the messy cabin, before her eyes settled on me once again. There was no sign of grief in them, as it should have been. Just confusion - and, as she studied me more intently, something else. Something _warm_ , that I did not deserve, especially now that my eyes were tinged bright red, as a testament of her blood being in my system.

I felt a wave of heat rushing through my limbs as I allowed myself to study her in return. Her beauty was something I had never seen, nor imagined. It was otherworldly, unable to be captured properly by words alone. No painter could have done her face justice, not even if he would spend the rest of his life trying.

Everything that had lured me in the first time around was somehow amplified a thousandfold. It was a beauty of contrasts: the deep crimson of her eyes, a herald of something sinister, paired with their infinite tenderness; the dark, lustful rouge of her lips, paired with the demure snow-white of her skin; the lush, seducing eyelashes framing her gaze, paired with the innocent heart-shape of her face.

Had I seen a goddess in front of me, I wouldn't have been as dazzled. My hands ached to touch the exquisite contour of her lips, to see if they were as perfectly soft as they looked. Or to at least tuck the stray strands of hair behind her ear, so that they wouldn't get in my way of admiring her. Or to simply trace the place where my bite mark had been before the transformation healed it completely.

"Your eyes are strange," she hummed, interrupting my peaceful staring. "Why is everything so clear? Hm, I am hearing waves... And my throat, it feels so… so…"

As she talked, I inhaled deeply, realizing that I hadn't done that in a while - and that was the exact moment it hit me: her scent, almost as potent as that of her blood used to be. The floral undertones were still there: the lavender, the freesia, the peony, all harbingers of a warm spring in the dead of winter. However, this time around they were wrapped in a blanket of spun sugar and honey, evoking a sweetness that felt oddly familiar. Her own fragrance, mixed with my venom running in her system, had created the most delicious combination, making Bella edible in an entirely different way.

But I knew she needed an answer more than she needed to be the core of my musings, so I tried my best to offer one that wouldn't scare her from the get go:

"We are on a boat, that's why you're hearing waves. As for the rest of your questions... it's a little more complicated. I'm going to ask you to please remain as calm as possible while I answer them."

She nodded 'yes', a bit conflicted this time around.

"I know this is going to sound like a madman's story, but… you are no longer human. Someone has bitten you and changed you into what most people would call a 'vampire'. This is why your senses feel so sharpened now."

Her eyes widened and anyone would have protested upon hearing such an outlandish thing, but she didn't. Because waking up to this existence felt _different_ : the world seemed clearer, the scents seemed sharper, the sounds seemed louder and, above all else, the thirst burned like a wildfire. I expected shock on her part, but Bella went ahead and surprised me further with her next words:

"I'm dreaming, right?"

"What? No. You're not… what?"

"This is the only reasonable explanation. Vampires don't exist."

"I wish that were true. You are one. You _are_ standing in front of one."

"I just wonder why this particular dream..." she pondered, ignoring my words.

"You're _not_ dreaming," I emphasized.

"Stop it, I am. I guess I shouldn't have picked up Bram Stoker's 'Dracula' from the library last week."

 _Last week_. She remembered last week. What else did she remember? If this whole foolishness about dreams could end, I might find out. Determined to show her that she was most certainly awake, I went with the only logical argument I could find, trying to remember everything I knew about lucid dreams:

"So let's say you're dreaming, Miss. If that's the case, this in particular must be a lucid dream, right? Because you're aware of the fact that it is not real."

"Precisely."

"If it is so, then you are free to change it however you may please. Try it and then we'll talk."

Bella raised her eyebrows in defiance and stood up with a movement so fast, so fluid, that I couldn't believe that the same girl had told me three days ago she couldn't jump on this boat. I rose up from the floor, where I had been standing the whole time, and made myself comfortable on the bed, watching Bella. She rose on her tiptoes - so elegantly, so easily - and raised her arms up in the process. I wasn't sure what exactly she was doing - but then again, I was a little bit distracted by the way her blouse rode up, revealing her abdomen.

There was no stopping my mind upon seeing that sight, especially because I knew what hid underneath her clothes. And all of a sudden, I wished that this could have been a dream. If this was a goddamn dream, I could have gone to her and help her out of her blouse, of her jeans, of her lingerie and have my way with her on the floor. I could have adored every inch of her body without worrying that one wrong movement could mean an instant death for her. I could have spilled my venom deep inside her pulsing core...

Bella's sigh of frustration pulled me back from the tendrils of my own fantasy. She was still on her tiptoes, reaching with her arms towards the ceiling. I couldn't help but chuckle - although a part of me was seriously questioning how she could hold herself together, considering her newborn thirst.

"What are you doing?" I queried.

"Trying to fly," she responded matter-of-factly, as if that was the most logical thing in the world and I was an idiot for missing it.

"And how is that working out for you?"

"It could happen any minute now, since I'm dreaming."

"Highly doubt it."

She ignored me, proceeding with her attempts for another minute, until she probably realized how silly this all was. I waited patiently, not really minding the spectacle, but finding it harder and harder not to raise up from the bed and go to her, so that I could circle her waist with my arms and bring her close to me. Closing my hands into fists, I fought the urge, hoping that it would fade on its own.

Eventually, I got distracted when Bella jumped up and landed back with a powerful thud, making the entire boat rock back and forth. The sudden force of her motion took her aback.

"What the hell?" this was the first time her voice sounded like it should, given the circumstances: scared.

I got up immediately, but she had been faster - she was already on the other side of the room, her face puzzled by her own speed. She grabbed the first thing she laid eyes on, a glass, but her newfound force made the delicate object shatter in her hand immediately. By the time I reached her spot, she was already climbing up the stairs to the top deck. I heard her curse a few times under her breath as she made her way up and I realized I had had no time to warn her about the sunlight.

Seconds later, we were both in the same spot where three days ago we were kissing with abandon. Only this time, our hands were not on each other. And more importantly, the midday sun shone brightly above, enwrapping us from every angle.

The last time I had actually felt the warm light of the day on my skin had been in 1958, the exact day I had seen Grace for the last time. That was not a memory I wanted to relive. I had kept it locked away for a reason, but certain details still escaped whenever I wasn't being careful enough: the salty air of Monterey… the sun peeking out of the Pacific… searching for flint nodules in the sand...

I had not felt the need to see the sun again after that. Yet here I was, marveling at the way the light played on Bella's skin, transforming the creaminess into a divine spectacle of light, making her look quite literally like an angel and making me realize that I wouldn't mind seeing her in the sun on a daily basis. The light reflected off her skin in a kaleidoscope of colours and every inch of her exposed form acted as a small prism, capturing the rays and sending them back in iridescent beams.

But as I was busy venerating her, I had not noticed perhaps the most important thing: the dread on her face, as her eyes made a few dozen journeys between her hands and my face in the span of five seconds.

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded, the mellow attitude she had had minutes ago - when she was still convinced she was dreaming - being nowhere to be found now.

"This is how our skin reacts in the sun. Don't be afraid, it won't hurt you."

I saw her parting her lips, ready to respond, but then she disappeared - _again_. Following the sound of her footsteps, I went back to the lower deck. Bella was already grabbing every object she could get her hands on, her fingers snapping everything in half as soon as they touched a new item. An ashtray, a mug, a wall clock - one by one, I watched them meeting their end in her hands at the speed of light.

"Fuck, why?" her voice grew more desperate as she tried and failed to grab something - anything - without breaking it.

"Please, wait," I pleaded.

"I don't understand what's happening!"

She started pacing around the room, at a tempo that would have made her invisible for humans. In her anguish, she wreaked havoc at every step, breaking more mugs, leaving crack marks on a sturdy table, snapping a broomstick in two just by picking it up from the floor. At this rate, not much of the boat would remain intact by the time the evening came. I rushed to her, grabbing her wrists milliseconds before they touched an empty bottle of what must have been whiskey at some point.

Surprisingly, she was still warm - not the blazing heat of a human, but still a temperature that felt oddly comforting.

"Would you stop and listen for a damned second?" I hissed.

She raised her eyes, confronting me. But the firmness of her gaze started to melt soon after. I felt the tension in her wrist giving way under my touch and I wondered if she felt this electrical surge in her bones too or if it was just me. Bewildered, I let her go, remembering that I could not cross certain lines with her. Not anymore.

"Thank you," I added, when she didn't disappear as soon as I let her go.

"Why am I here?"

"Let's sit down for a bit and I'll tell you everything you need to know."

"Want," she replied. "Everything I _want_ to know."

 _Not in a million years_. Some things were better left unsaid - and I was ready to keep all the morbid, shameful details that would scare her off to myself. The whole truth wouldn't have helped her, given the state of unrest she was in. It would have been selfish of me to drop this kind of information on her when she hadn't even realized the complexity of her new life. I could keep it for later.

Or for never.

"All right, everything you want to know," I agreed, like a complete charlatan, hoping that this would put her mind at ease.

Thankfully, it did. With a sigh, she completed the short distance that separated us from the bed and sat down. Seeing her in the very same bed where days ago we had been tangled in passion made my cock twitch with need and I had to sit down immediately on the other side of the bed, to avoid her spotting my imminent erection.

"All right, shall we try again?" I offered, in a bid to clear my mind.

"Yes."

"I'd like to know your name first, if you don't mind."

I couldn't go on forever pretending I didn't know it, after all.

"I'm Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella."

She shrugged and _God_ , it seemed that every little thing she did sent my mind spinning. Her simple shrugging motion revealed an inch of her bra strap and I knew I was back to square one when it came to my own lust. Only this time it was worse than it had been in the park, because I actually knew what I was missing.

"A very fitting name," I said, immediately wondering if my remark had been too obvious; but she glossed over it as if I hadn't even said it.

"Now who are _you_?"

"I've told you my name."

"I know, not that. Why are you here? Have we met before?"

 _Lie, lie, lie_.

That was the only string of thoughts my mind could come up with as I was thinking of possible answers. I could have told her the truth and spare myself the trouble of being overly-imaginative. But she had finally calmed down enough to be able to have a conversation without breaking things. I would have been an idiot to let the opportunity of a peaceful discussion slide right through my fingers. With that resolution in mind, I started weaving a new reality:

"I found you in Port Angeles a few days ago, at night, when I was looking for prey. You had been bitten and left on the pier."

"Bitten by who?"

_Lord help me._

"I have no idea," I said, placing a second brick on the edifice of false reality I was building. "But I couldn't leave you there. Humans could have passed by and that could have ended terribly."

"I'm not following."

"I'll get there, I promise. As I was saying, I got you far away from the pier and on this boat, where nobody could see you."

"Whose boat is this, by the way?"

"I've no clue," I admitted. "It looked as if it hadn't left the shore for a while, I figured no one would miss it."

She frowned, but somehow decided to let this slide.

"So anyway, I got you here, where your change could proceed without anyone else seeing you."

"I'd say 'thanks', but I don't know why you did it."

Beyond my fables, Bella was smart. If I wanted any chance of going through with the lying, I had to make more sense than that.

"Well, this is a little more complicated," I began. "You see, our species is governed by a great coven in Italy. They are called the Volturi and they are, for better or for worse, the lawmakers of our world. The most important rule of all is to keep the secret of our existence and do everything in our power to avoid humans coming close to discovering it."

"So what's it to you?" she asked. "It's not like you were the one who did it."

 _Keep it together_.

"Leaving a clueless newborn vampire - because this is, essentially, what you are - out in the open, where humans could walk by anytime, could cost me too," I explained. "If I ever come across the Volturi, I could be punished greatly for it."

"Then you just won't tell them the truth, problem solved."

"Their leader can read every single thought a person has ever had with just a single touch. So it's not as simple as it may sound."

"All right, then I have two questions. First: what about whoever bit me? And second: you said their leader can read thoughts?"

"Whoever did this to you was quite possibly suicidal," I answered between my teeth, perfectly capable of seeing the irony in that. "As for your latter question… yes, he can read thoughts."

"Why?"

"I don't know, some of us are born into this new life with gifts."

"What can I do then?"

_Beyond your mind being a closed book to me?_

_Beyond setting me on fire with your very presence?_

_Beyond making my existence interesting for the first time in ages?_

I kept these thoughts to myself and went with something more appropriate instead:

"I don't know. Time will tell."

"Well, what can _you_ do?"

I had to take a deep breath before responding, preparing myself for whatever would come next:

"I can read minds as well."

Bella's eyes widened upon being hit with this fact and I had seen in them the same string of emotions I had seen during the few times I had had the chance to tell a person that I could read their mind: the initial shock, the following embarrassment, the unavoidable dread at the realization that their intimacy was in danger.

"If that's the case, tell me what I'm thinking of right now," she provoked.

She looked intently at me, a small dimple forming between her eyebrows. I found myself wanting to smooth out the dimple with my fingertip.

"There's a catch," I confessed after a few moments. "I can't read your thoughts, for some reason."

I was not exactly proud to admit my newfound weakness out loud, but it had to be done. It was hard to guess whether the expression of her face was one of smugness or relief. Possibly both. But when she talked, it seemed to be neither:

"Is there something I'm doing wrong?"

I couldn't suppress a laugh.

"You think _you_ are doing something wrong? It doesn't work that way. You don't have to do anything - normally, I can simply hear."

"Without doing anything _at all_?"

"Yes, all the thoughts within a two mile radius simply come to me."

"This sounds awfully exhausting."

"I suppose it is sometimes," I offered truthfully. "It's been quite silent out here at sea."

I didn't look at her, but I heard her sigh clearly - a sound of empathy, something I had not encountered for far too long. Trying not to dwell on the sentiments that this awoke in me, I focused on something else instead, something I could still not comprehend: Bella's aura of self-control. I knew she felt the burning in her throat, it was one of the very first things she had mentioned when she opened her eyes. What I didn't know was how she was able to even maintain a conversation, given her thirst. She was supposed to growl and beg for blood before entertaining the rest of her curiosities. What was wrong with her?

Since her mind was not going to be of any help, I decided to take the reins and simply ask:

"How is your throat?"

"Dry," she answered. "And painful."

"And doesn't it bother you?"

"I mean… it does, when I am focusing on it."

As if a newborn could help such things. Her bravado was impressive, but I was willing to bet it was just that.

"This is your body telling you that you are thirsty," I explained.

I turned my head, to see her nodding, seemingly lost in thought.

"If you want it to disappear, you need to feed," I added, hoping for a reaction.

"Hm," was the only thing I got from her before she changed the subject. "How long have I been out, anyway?"

"Three days or so."

"I only remember getting ready to go to Port Angeles for a friend's birthday, but then… nothing."

This was it - my chance to find out how far her amnesia stretched without sounding like a creep.

"Is that your last memory?" I checked carefully.

"Well, yes… but I wonder why. Is it normal?"

"Most of the time, no, it isn't. You should remember." _But I am thankful to whatever deity is out there that you don't_. "Maybe the shock of the bite was too… too much for you."

"Oh… how strange," Bella murmured before zoning out, her mind taking her in unknown places, where I had no access.

Perhaps she had seen through my pretenses, after all. Maybe something I had said had set her intuition off, making her realize that everything about me was bad news. What would I do then? I couldn't keep her locked until she learned to exist among humans; my firsthand experience with that was not a fond memory. But I couldn't risk any accidents - because she _would_ make them, no doubt about it - that would put me on the Volturi's radar.

There was, of course, a less extreme version, but all the more scary: admitting _everything_. Telling her about the night we met... the unbearable thirst, the incommensurable desire, the mind-bending sex - and, inevitably, the moment when the monster won. But just picturing this possibility filled me with a fright so intense, a terror so powerful, that I knew instantly that I could never go through with it. I could see how it would go: I would tell her and that would be the moment she would decide she didn't need such an odious creature in her life. The thought of losing her - although she wasn't even mine to lose - was not one that I was willing to entertain.

But in the background of my worries, something else had happened, because Bella was now standing up once again, her eyes wide from what I could guess was shock.

"My father must have called," she muttered. "I need to talk to him. Oh, God, he must be a mess by now..."

There it was - another brick that needed to be laid on the foundation I was building. Her father must have already started an entire investigation since the last time I had held her phone in my hands, before I pulverized it and threw the remains away. Would she believe one more lie? There was only one way to find out:

"You didn't have a phone on you, Bella."

"That's impossible, I always keep it in my bag. Where is it?"

I gestured towards her purse and she grabbed it from the desk in an instant, starting to rummage through its contents. There was desperation in her movements and I wished I could tell her why she would never find anything inside that bag. In her despair, Bella gave up and simply turned the purse upside down, letting its contents fall on the floor: a Mars bar, keys, a wallet, a copy of "Little Women" and two menstrual pads.

"It was supposed to be here!" Bella cried out.

By the time she was done with her purse, the leather was ripped in more than just one place.

"This isn't good," her voice came out trembling. "Oh, God, he's going to kill me…"

I realized there was no point in telling her that such a scenario was completely impossible - the exact details of how impenetrable our strength was could be saved for later. Instead, I got out of the bed and picked the items she had thrown on the floor, handing them to her calmly.

"Maybe it's been stolen," I suggested.

"Just give me your phone then, so that I can call him."

Taken off-guard, I had no time to come up with something more convincing than the truth:

"I don't have one."

"Who doesn't have a phone?"

"I've just never needed one."

And I was being honest. Living on my own, without companions or strong ties, meant that having such a device would be quite useless. I was ready to explain this thoroughly, but Bella wasted no time in this argument.

"I need to get back home then," she decided. "Right now."

"I'm afraid that can't happen."

"The hell it can't. Turn this boat around."

Her voice left no room for arguments - too bad that my convictions also left no room for bargaining.

"I am not turning it around," I replied. "If you do see your father right now, you're going to kill him."

"How dare you say that?"

"You are a newborn vampire, your thirst can get a hold of you before you get a hold of it."

"You're rude."

"I am only realistic. I assume you love your father, right?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then you would want to keep him safe."

"Screw you, Edward. A burning throat won't keep me from seeing my father. He needs to know I'm all right."

If my heart could beat, it would have gone rogue as soon as Bella muttered my name. Something about it felt right, even when she was basically telling me to go to hell.

This time, I had enough intuition to grab her wrist before she stalked out of the room. I kept a tight hold on it, making sure to get her attention long enough so that I could talk and she could listen:

"I can understand you're upset, but think about a few things first: with the sun out, there is no way either of us can go back on land like this. And trust me, you need to feed, first and foremost. You might be brave now, in the middle of nowhere, but being in the presence of human blood is completely different."

Her red gaze pierced through me, obliterating my senses and momentarily making me forget what I wanted to say next. For a few unending seconds, only her eyes and my hand around her wrist mattered, until she broke the spell with her reply:

"My father needs to know I'm all right and I am not debating whether I get to see him again or not with you."

She ended everything with a short growl and I instinctively grabbed her other wrist too, trying very hard not to think of the powerful hunger that overcame me along with having her captive like this.

"Listen to me, Isabella. If you go out there, this could end terribly for you and me both. One wrong deed is all it takes to get the Volturi on your tail. And then what? What are you going to tell your father when you're dead for good?"

The ice in my tone made her take a step back, snatching herself out of my grip and turning around, hiding her face from me. Once again, the separation filled me with a cold sense of loss. This was not exactly the reaction I had been hoping for.

"I'm sorry, I was an ass for saying that," I admitted, already beating myself up on the inside for ever being so crass with her.

"Yes. Yes, you were."

"The point is… the risks of having your way right now far outweigh the benefits. Do you understand that?"

"Hm… I suppose."

While 'I suppose' was not enough, I accepted whatever I could get at this point. I was already the luckiest man on earth, come to think of it - after all, things could have gone in a dire direction had it not been for her amnesia.

"You need to feed, Bella. Then we can talk properly about the rest."

"Fine, but can you be a little more… specific? Does this feeding consist of…"

"It consists of blood," I offered bluntly. "But don't worry about it, we won't kill any innocents."

"Oh."

She turned around, her face suddenly troubled.

"I don't know how this works," she said.

"I can read minds, remember? I only feed from criminals and predators. The world could do without them anyway."

"Wow, this… is… I mean, I can understand, but… I don't know if I-"

"It comes instinctively," I assured her before she could finish. "You won't even have to think about it."

"Oh, yay," she offered with a voice that sounded anything but enthusiastic.

"Trust me."

The fact that I had had the nerve to utter those words out loud was surprising, even for me. Bella had done nothing more than trust me and it hadn't brought her anywhere good.

"I don't have much of a choice now, do I?" she asked, a smile playing in the corner of her lips - a most welcome omen of good spirits.

I allowed myself to laugh - the first real laugh in three days. Her smile got a little wider as she watched my reaction and relief started to seep inside my bones, making me believe that maybe, just maybe, things weren't as bad as I had feared. Even better, maybe Bella and I could be friends, despite the odds. Lord knew I needed a friend.

Surely, I should most definitely _not_ feel the impulsive need to touch my new friend at all times. I should also not have to deal with a raging erection whenever my new friend moved or breathed or simply existed. But my needs would soon become afterthoughts, I knew it - I would learn to live with them and keep them at the back of my mind, where they belonged. I had already got my chance with her and I was willing to bet that a man could not get more than one ticket to Paradise; even more so after he shattered the angel who had shown him the way there. I just had to grow accustomed to the new desire and control it, as if it were bloodlust.

This was doable. I could learn to exist like this.

For now, I was out of the frying pan - safe, away from the urgency of finding an exit before being cooked alive.

If only I knew that the frying pan had been resting above a sea of fire all along.

* * *

**Edward is in this deep, isn't he?**

**I am so very excited to discover what you, guys, think about this chapter! Reading your reviews and responding to all of them makes me endlessly happy.**

**What do you think about this newborn-vampire Bella?**

**How do you expect her first hunting experience to go?**

**How hard did you want to smack Edward for lying like he did?**

**So excited to know what you think!**

**See you next Sunday - and until then, stay safe and happy!**

**P.S.: if you want to see sneak peeks of future chapters and see the visuals I make for the story, you're welcome to join my Facebook group, "Twilight fanfics: NightBloomingPeony & friends corner".**


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